Good Read for FORD MOTORS

**actor21** · January 5th, 2009 01:58 PM

http://www.topspeed.com/cars/car-new...y-ar65281.html

In tough economic times, remember the charity that is the Ford Motor Company

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Posted on 10.12.2008 12:51 by Myles Kornblatt
Filed under: | Myles Away

Although we are not quite at the holiday season yet, it is time to start thinking about this year’s charitable donations. I want to bring this up now so that people won’t forget about one of the world’s greatest automotive charities: Ford. While Ford has been a part of many philanthropic activities, the one it rarely mentions has been its history of taking in the disadvantaged auto brands of the world.
It may seem crazy, but read on...

Jaguar’s father married Mrs. Leyland in 1966. Mrs. Leyland tried her best to make Jaguar a part of the family, but she already had many children of her own. None of her other kids were getting along, and poor Jaguar played alone for most of its childhood. Jaguar’s dad wasn’t around much, only once in a while he came by to make sure that his son was getting special treatment, which caused him to be soft. Furthermore, poor little Jaguar was abused by his Uncle Lucas for years, so his brain wasn’t exactly “wired correctly”.
By the 80s Mrs. Leyland had finally died after a very long illness, and Jaguar’s dad was no longer around. Jaguar wandered the streets alone and confused for many years before Ford came by in 1990. Ford took in the lost soul, and got Jaguar the help he needed. Jaguar got new clothes, and more importantly, Ford undid all the problems Uncle Lucas caused. Ford turned Jaguar into someone you could rely on everyday. Once Jaguar looked like his life was turned around, Ford sent Jaguar off to India to find his fortune.
One of Jaguar’s stepbrothers at Mrs. Leyland’s house was Land Rover. Land Rover’s father married Mrs. Leyland, but left the picture quickly, leaving Mrs. Leyland to raise him as one of her own. Land Rover had an easier time than Jaguar in the Leyland household. He was a popular kid and was always earning money for the family. His Uncle Lucas abused him too, but it didn’t seem to affect Land Rover that much.
When Mrs. Leyland passed, Land Rover stuck around to help out his siblings. Land Rover and siblings went through a dark period of living on the streets and foster homes, until going into the hands of a nice German family. The Germans took in the whole Rover group. The Germans started out as nice people (even gave Land Rover his first change of clothes in over two decades), but it was short lived. The Rovers didn’t seem gracious enough to the Germans, and they kicked the all of them out except the littlest one.
By the time Ford came by, it was too late for Land Rover’s siblings; they had fallen with a rough crowd that would eventually get them sent to China. But Ford knew Land Rover could be saved. In 2000, it reunited Land Rover with its half-brother Jaguar and put them both through charm school. When it came time for Jaguar to go to India to seek his fortune, Ford sent Land Rover along to keep an eye on him.
One of the more tragic stories was Aston Martin. Poor Aston hadn’t had a proper home for a while. Aston had spent part of its youth with James Bond, but the charm was running out. The once endearing fast and eccentric personality, was now finding few who would take the risk of putting a roof over Aston’s head. Then Ford came along in 1991. It fed Aston a steady diet of cash and a new platform. Aston was back to his old suave self. Aston met up with his old friend James Bond again, but this time he was more mature. Soon after he went back out in the world on his own to seek more fortune.
Ford still has some works in progress. While Ford was continuing its charity work in the 90s, it ran into the timid little Volvo. Volvo was liked by his friends, but his enemies made fun of Volvo’s stale-but-safe nature. Ford took Volvo under its wing in 1998 and sent him to the gym. Now beefed up with SUVs and V8s, Volvo is getting less sand kicked in his face. Although Volvo is ready to go back on its own, Ford is being a picky parent. Ford is looking for a proper suitor who can bring a dowry large enough to keep treating Volvo in a manner he is accustomed to.
When Mazda was left on its own, it would tinker away all day with rotaries and would not socialize with the others. Ford came along and forced Mazda to go out and spend time with the public, and Mazda eventually made friends with people in the sports car community. But Ford always had to stay close. Every time Ford would let Mazda out of its sight, Mazda would get distracted. Ford has had to pull Mazda out of many luxury crowds where it never belonged and returned him to his sports car friends. But Ford can never hold on to its take-ins for too long. It’s rumored that after thirty years Ford will let Mazda move out of the basement and get his own place.
It is Ford who has resurrected some great brands, and if you believe Ford’s financial statements, it supported these brands with little regard for profit – that’s true charity. So if there’s money in your budget for charitable donations this year, please go to your local Ford dealership and give generously. After all, if you give extra cash to PBS you only get a tote bag, but at Ford you get leather seats.
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If you were patient enough to read this whole commentary without understanding the situation here’s some help:
--Mrs. Leyland AKA British Leyland-a horribly inefficient conglomeration of most of England’s car companies including Jaguar and Land Rover. Bad management and brand identity plagued it, and the British Government took it over in 1975. Both Jaguar and Land Rover were part of this organization. Jaguar was sold as a private brand in 1984 and the rest of the brands except Rover died off slowly in the 70s and 80s.
--Uncle Lucas AKA Lucas Electrics- a company that supplies most electrical systems for British Leyland cars. Extreme quality control problems earned it the nickname the “Prince of Darkness” and helped British Leyland cars a horrendous reliability reputation. (look up “lucas prince of darkness” for some good jokes.)
--The German who took in Land Rover is BMW. It sold Land Rover to Ford, kept Mini, and basically gave away the rest of the Rover/MG Group (which failed again and eventually sold to today’s Shanghai Automotive Industry Corporation.)