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  1. yebo8 Guest
    #1
    10 simple rules for dating my daughter

    Rule One:

    If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

    Rule Two:

    You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

    Rule Three:

    I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

    Rule Four:

    I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, *** without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to ***, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

    Rule Five:

    It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

    Rule Six:

    I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

    Rule Seven:

    As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

    Rule Eight:

    The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or ***ual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

    Rule Nine:

    Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

    Rule Ten:

    Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

  2. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    22,658
    #2
    Halos lahat naman ng mga tatay ng mga naging girlfriend ko ay mahal ako. Isa pa lang ata ang parang gayan. hehehe.

    http://docotep.multiply.com/
    Need an Ambulance? We sell Zic Brand Oils and Lubricants. Please PM me.

  3. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    21,253
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by OTEP
    Halos lahat naman ng mga tatay ng mga naging girlfriend ko ay mahal ako. Isa pa lang ata ang parang gayan. hehehe.
    baka naman tatay ang nililigawan mo at hindi yung mga anak :lol:
    Signature

  4. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    6,796
    #4
    ayosh...challenge yan...mas masarap and exciting!!!

  5. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    5,235
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by boybi
    Quote Originally Posted by OTEP
    Halos lahat naman ng mga tatay ng mga naging girlfriend ko ay mahal ako. Isa pa lang ata ang parang gayan. hehehe.
    baka naman tatay ang nililigawan mo at hindi yung mga anak :lol:
    nde, yon mommy :twisted:

    sige na uwi na ko

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    5,235
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by boybi
    Quote Originally Posted by OTEP
    Halos lahat naman ng mga tatay ng mga naging girlfriend ko ay mahal ako. Isa pa lang ata ang parang gayan. hehehe.
    baka naman tatay ang nililigawan mo at hindi yung mga anak :lol:
    nde, yon mommy :twisted:

    sige na uwi na ko

  7. Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    4,085
    #7
    hahaha..!!

    buti na lang ung tatay ng syota ko nasa probinsya..


    malayo sa disgrasya..!*!

    harharharhar..!*!:mrgreen::twisted::mrgreen::twist ed:

  8. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    693
    #8
    ganyan dad ko sa guys (also with andy nung umpisa) hehehe

    pero andy is the only guy na mabait dad ko. he invites him to go with us for mass, sunday brunches, dinners, bday celebrations, etc. he can even stay in the late hours of the night in my house, etc. he's the only boyfriend i had that my dad complimented, really talked to (not just the hi, hello conversations) and my dad thinks he's a really nice guy (and he really is).oh yeah, cya lang ung kinakamusta ng parents ko. hehehe.... and my mom likes him a lot, even my sis finds his smile cute, parang bata daw mag-smile.. hehehe.....

    i don't know bkt ganyan dad ko sa kanya, i guess it's just a matter of first impressions and keeping your word with dads. impt din ung pinapakita mo ung intentions mo, sobra.

  9. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    10,603
    #9
    Ang mga tatay kasi pinagdaanan na lahat ng dinadaanan pa lang nating mga bata (daw :lol: ) kaya they kinda know what to expect and what to look for in guys :D

  10. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    22,658
    #10
    boybi,

    Paborito ako lagi ng mga parents, noh. Hehehe. Nagtataka nga mga kabarkada ko kung bakit.

    Gusto din kaya ako ng magulang ni Yoli? Hehehe. Kinukwento ko nga sa tatay niya ang mga Pampanga adventures ko with the diesel boys, eh. Hehehe. Nayaya na din ako mag-mall ng nanay ni Yoli pero nahiya ako. :mrgreen:

    http://docotep.multiply.com/
    Need an Ambulance? We sell Zic Brand Oils and Lubricants. Please PM me.

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