Did i marry the right person?

[donski]

Share ko lang po... happy reading

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person ?"


I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It Depends. Is that your husband?"


In all seriousness, she answered " How do you know?"


Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.


Here's the answer.


EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked Their idiosyncrasies.


Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.


People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.


Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.


But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.


The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.


At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.


This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.


Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is The most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.


But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.


I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could.


And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this):


THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression " the labor of love."


Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.


Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific Things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.


Just as there are physical laws of the universe ( such as gravity),


There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. You can " make" love.


Love in marriage is indeed a " decision"... Not just a feeling.

[CVT]

Thanks for sharing bro....

Good reading for those who are into the seven-year itch......

8900:painting:

[juntzo]

There's always annulment!

[Lucius]

Ahhhhh live-in muna

[vito corleone]

Ahhhhh live-in muna

seriously, this is true and can be effective, especially here in the philippines where divorce is not supported by law

[oliver1013]

Hehe sapol!!

[KERSMcRae]

Ahhhhh live-in muna

in car-buying, test-drive muna :naughty2:

The only difference is, you can just sell a personal property. But marriage then divorce, its costly and time-consuming...

[jansky]

in car-buying, test-drive muna :naughty2:

The only difference is, you can just sell a personal property. But marriage then divorce, its costly and time-consuming...

but how far are you going to test drive? the defect will only show when it is properly yours

[jick.cejoco]

in car-buying, test-drive muna :naughty2:

The only difference is, you can just sell a personal property. But marriage then divorce, its costly and time-consuming...

don't you wish trade-in was possible and there is retirement from marriage?

[ans_lim168]

Thanks for sharing bro....

Good reading for those who are into the seven-year itch......

8900:painting:

Been over that period, you marry because you are ready and able to start your own family. In marriage you never ask this question for this will start cracks and eventually broken families..

[FullThrottle]

Been over that period, you marry because you are ready and able to start your own family. In marriage you never ask this question for this will start cracks and eventually broken families..

+ 1

If you keep on asking this question (Did I marry the right person?), it might open the floodgate of discontent.

The better question to ask yourself is: "How can I be a better husband/wife?" Try asking that to yourself everyday the moment you wake up, take positive action, and soon you will see improvements in your relationship.

[XTO]

Yes it's a cycle. And you can only ask that question if either of you is not cooperative in the relationship. one sided? selfishness? forget it, and the next time you will ask is Why did I marry this person? Right?

Cooperation, Give and take and that question will always be answered by YES!

[LadyRider]

Basta when in doubt, then DON'T GET MARRIED!!! As simple as that! (hehehehe)

Eka nga ng isang kanta, "Sometimes love just 'aint enough...."

[dr. d]

how do you know you married the right person? you will never know, because there are no positive signs.
how do you know you married the wrong person? you will know. immediately, like a ton of bricks falling on you.

[jEnnAholic]

There is no such thing as right person, it's up to you to make him/her the right person for you.

The question here is, are you also perfect for him/her? Baka naman sarili mo lang iniisip mo.

[testament11]

how do you know you married the right person? you will never know, because there are no positive signs.
how do you know you married the wrong person? you will know. immediately, like a ton of bricks falling on you.

and i am waiting for this thing to happen. para ma-realize niya na for me, she did not marry the right person...

[speedlimit]

Marriage counselor Allan Petersen says, "Most people get married believing in myth...that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for: companionship, ***ual fulfillment, intimacy, friendship.
"The truth is that marriage, at the start, is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage; love is in people, and people put it into marriage. There is no romance in marriage; people have to infuse it into their marriages.
"A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising..keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will empty."

Problem arises if only one of the couple is "putting in" and the other doesn't care. Marriage is what couples make it.
It takes two to tango.

[vito corleone]

Eka nga ng isang kanta, "Sometimes love just 'aint enough...."

i need your credit card, too

[malinkelly]

[SIZE="3"]*donski:[/SIZE] yup its really about loving the person and accepting him/her for who and what he/she was before you met him/her(except for the fact that, that person is not that nice)...

for the fact that Love Is Eternal, therefore, even death won't make the couples apart.

[uls]

What I've Learned: Gene Simmons
http://www.esquire.com/features/what...SQ0702-JUL_WIL

A whore, in my estimation, has more credibility than a wife, and I'll tell you why. A wife is supposed to marry you for love. A whore is not there for love, she's there to service you. Now, the difference between them is a whore, before she does her work, will tell you exactly what it is. She'll tell you, "Blow job? This'll cost you seventy-five dollars. This is not love, and after I'm done I never want to see you again." Full disclosure is what they call it in court. A wife will tell you ****. A wife will tell you nothing. She's about to marry you. If you get divorced, she's going to take 50 percent of your gross pretax dollars and try to get more. Now, before you get married, if you dare bring up the notion, "By the way, let's just be completely honest with each other, what happens if we break up?" she will cry and tell you, "That's so unromantic." You know who's more credible? The whore.