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  1. Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,051
    #1
    Share ko lang po... happy reading

    During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person ?"


    I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It Depends. Is that your husband?"


    In all seriousness, she answered " How do you know?"


    Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.


    Here's the answer.


    EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked Their idiosyncrasies.


    Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.


    People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.


    Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.


    But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.


    The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.


    At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.


    This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.


    Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is The most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.


    But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.


    I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could.


    And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this):


    THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.


    SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression " the labor of love."


    Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.


    Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific Things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.


    Just as there are physical laws of the universe ( such as gravity),


    There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. You can " make" love.


    Love in marriage is indeed a " decision"... Not just a feeling.

  2. Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    39,162
    #2

    Thanks for sharing bro....

    Good reading for those who are into the seven-year itch......

    8900:painting:

  3. Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    733
    #3
    There's always annulment!

  4. Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    4,459
    #4
    Ahhhhh live-in muna

  5. Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    2,452
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucius View Post
    Ahhhhh live-in muna
    seriously, this is true and can be effective, especially here in the philippines where divorce is not supported by law

  6. Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    6,940
    #6
    Hehe sapol!!

  7. Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    286
    #7
    nice one. kaso alam nyo naman sa kultura at kinaugalian nating mga pinoy, kasal muna bago pagsasama. (this is where religion intrudes)

    anyhow, hindsight naman kasi talaga ito. dapat maganda at maraming masasayang nangyari sa magkasintahan bago sila nagpakasal para itong mga magagandang alaala ang isa sa tutulong magbalik ng init ng pagmamahal.

  8. Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    189
    #8
    nice.

    I am currently asking the same question.

    My wife admitted that she just fell in love with someone else. It hit me like a ton of bricks and it really hurts like hell. Imagine the betrayal, deception and lies. I did what I could, I talked with her but she's so confused and I dont want to add in. I moved out from our home so that she can think. Im hoping for the best but at the sametime not expecting anything at all. Just trying to move on.

    Oh yeah, the guy that she fell for is married as well. 4 months married.

    Us on the other hand got married august last year and before that, we lived in together for 3 years. We have no kids.

    So, think hundred times before getting married. Sorry if its OT

  9. Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    1,463
    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucius View Post
    Ahhhhh live-in muna
    in car-buying, test-drive muna :naughty2:

    The only difference is, you can just sell a personal property. But marriage then divorce, its costly and time-consuming...

  10. Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,566
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by KERSMcRae View Post
    in car-buying, test-drive muna :naughty2:

    The only difference is, you can just sell a personal property. But marriage then divorce, its costly and time-consuming...
    but how far are you going to test drive? the defect will only show when it is properly yours

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Did i marry the right person?