The Modern Mangliligaw....

[ogpro]

I still remember talking to my older female cousins about why they would date a particular guy. Some mentioned that it was because he was persistent, I believe her exact words were, "eh kasi ang sipag nya mangligaw eh..."

I also remember my aunts talking about how the guys in their village would make "harana" and call on them at night, sometimes for months at a time. Mutual attraction notwithstanding, sometimes they would say the supposed much sought after "Oo" (like in "ang matamis mong oo.." hehe) to the guy who was most kulit. Hehe. They said that they "learned" to love the guy eventually. WTF??? I don't think I've ever learned to love anything. I've learned that there was MORE TO LOVE in my girl, but not before I knew I was really attracted to her in the first place. Maybe they meant that when they got to know the guy better they loved him for his qualities? Hmm...I still don't know about that. Can "sparks" happen further down the road after the initial meeting?

Now, maybe I'm not like the average guy in that I believe in sparks and true love, but isn't this the kind of thing that leads to someone not being able to find the one person who is right for them? I mean, if you date a guy just because he was persistent, what does that say about your compatibility as a couple? Shouldn't a date / relationship be based on mutual attraction and not because some guy just happened to pursue you for a year? Does that mean that some guys can actually bug a woman to eventually date them and even be their girlfriend? That is a scary thought.

My questions are:

Is this thing still happening? I mean, what are usual dating norms nowadays? How do you ensure that who you date and who you are in a relationship with is the one who are totally vibing with and the one who you feel the "sparks" with? And if you don't, will you take the nec actions to end it so that you can both go on to find who you are meant to be with? I've seen so many people in relationships nowadays who are with their partners just because they got too comfortable with them. Is true love dead?

Fire away

[oldblue]

Now, maybe I'm not like the average guy in that I believe in sparks and true love, but isn't this the kind of thing that leads to someone not being able to find the one person who is right for them? I mean, if you date a guy just because he was persistent, what does that say about your compatibility as a couple? Shouldn't a date / relationship be based on mutual attraction and not because some guy just happened to pursue you for a year? Does that mean that some guys can actually bug a woman to eventually date them and even be their girlfriend? That is a scary thought.

it's like settling for 2nd best.

[van_wilder]

never ever settle for less... modern day manliligaw? is there such a thing? a guy and girl should date... if it works, lets see... if it doesnt, move on... thats it...

[creepy]

I think you are being naive if you think that "true love" can only happen when there's an immediate "spark".

True love is ABSOLUTELY NOT the initial spark. It CAN happen because of the initial spark OR it can develop over time. Never never think that because it didn't happen with an initial "spark" that the other person's "love" is anything less.

It's sad that so many people look only for that initial spark and cannot see beyond it.

[BlueBimmer]

to each his/her own lang yan

[mazdamazda]

It's sad that so many people look only for that initial spark and cannot see beyond it.

True...

Scientists have determined that this "initial spark" will only last up to a maximum of 18 months (due to hormone production).

After that, it is up to the couple to work in improving their love & relationship.

[BlueBimmer]

the 'spark' i think is part infatuation...

[boybi]

you've said it: courting or panliligaw.

if both of you had the initial spark already when you first met each other, then no need for courting

that's why there is courting. to let the other person learn to love you.

[uls]

been reading too many romance novels? Korean telenovela fan? after-effect of a chick flick marathon? hehe

sparks are for starry-eyed teens who walk on clouds.

[stinkaboy]

dating norms? hmmm, gawin textmate muna ang girl :D