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  1. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    22,658
    #1
    Below is the winning piece in the latest contest sa UP Creative writing

    Its been 4 months since i saw him and talagang namimiss ko na siya...
    pero what can i do? it seems that i have loved the wrong person.... but
    still the pain keeps on hurting me and kung walang magbibigay ng gamot
    para
    dito sa nararamdaman ko.... baka mamatay na ako....


    To give you a background about my life, everthing seems to be fine
    except dun sa time na dumating na sa buhay ko yung hinayupak na lalake na
    yon.... hehehehe.... kung curious kayo about dun sa guy... bestfriend ko
    po yon
    kaso lang iba na ang nangyari as time passes by.....


    Classmate ko sya nung highschool. pards pa nga ang tawagan namen.... o
    db ang sweet? di na ako iba sa kanya and ganon na ren sya sa aken.... kung
    di nga lang ako naging babae baka naiuwi na ako nun sa bahay nila and baka
    lahat ng gawaing pang brusko eh i! pagawa na nun sa ken eh..... pero
    cyempre mukha pa ren naman akong babae noh!!


    Highskul cyempre may pr om.... wala cyang date, wla ren ako.... i know
    that he wanted to invite me to be his date pero ang ogag nga kasi nun kaya
    the last minute tsaka lang sya nag-ask. he went to our house... nakamotor
    po sya and medyo pawisan pero infairness.... mabango pa ren....


    He ask my permission to see my dress for the prom.... cyempre para
    maloka sya sa aken at may konting surprise... i refuse.... o sige, medyo
    na
    frustrate sya pero hindi yon naging hadlang para invite nya ko.... sa
    ganda ko na to..... cyempre ang dami munang pa-echeng.... hanggang sa
    tanungin nya ako kung may date na ba me.... e kung di ba naman siya
    abnormal
    eh.... papayag ba akong makipagdate sa iba eh sya lang ang gusto ko....
    lam mo
    yon... sarap sampalin.... so in short, papilit pa ba ako? syempre.....


    The night of my life came, i was so pretty sabi ng nan! g-uuto kong
    nanay... pero naniwala lang ako nang sya na ang nagsabi.... blush ako
    ever....
    kahit alam kong maganda ako since birth(hehehehe) iba pa ren yung sa kanya
    galing diba?


    We enjoyed that night and lalo ko lang napatunayan sa sarili ko na
    mahal ko na pala ang hinayupak na bestfrend ko......


    Syempre ano pa ba ang sunod na event sa prom kundi ang graduation na
    db? the night before the graduation, we talked on the phone na para bang
    it
    would be the last time na maririnig namen ang boses ng isat-isa.....
    ive waited for the moment na mabanggit nya na may feelings din sya and
    hindi naman ako nagkamali.... tinanong nya ako kung may possibilty daw na
    maging kame.... i know na maiinis kayo sa ken dahil alam nyo ba ang sagot
    ko?
    ah, eh.... hindi pwede kase bestfrends tayo eh.... yung mga anak na lang
    naten yung ipag-partner naten.... sa isip-isip ko.... ang tanga! pano ko
    nasabi ang ganong words? pero wala na akong magagawa..... alam namang
    bawiin
    ko pa eh di nahuli naman ako db? pe ro ang tanga ko talga....


    Syempre college na.... im so proud to say na napunta naman ako sa
    magandang school and take note... pareho kame ng skul..... ano to?
    kailangan bang
    ituloy ang naudlot na pagmamahalan namen?.... hehehe....


    Nagkaboyfriend ako for a year and a half.... minahal ko sya pero there
    are these conflicts and problems na di na kayang ayusin.... in short....
    nagbreak kame.....

    I guess god meant that to happen kasi yon din yung time na nagkita kame
    ng bestfrend ko..... sa sobrang miss namen ang isa't-isa.... sabay na
    kameng umuwi, kumain, pumasok..... im happy pero parang lalo ko lang
    pinahirapan ang sarili ko dahil my feelings for that guy grows each and
    everytime
    that we are together... buti na lang magaling akong magtago at
    magpigil....
    hehehe.... bilib kayo noh?.....


    One morning, im so busy preparing my project t! hat would be pass on that
    same day.... alam kong dumati ng na sya at nasa likuran ko na ang
    mokong pero dahil sobrang pressure sa project.... gusto ko man syang
    dambahan... cyempre mamayang gabi na lang di ba? hehehe.... di ko sya
    masyadong
    napansin.....


    May inabot syang sulat sa aken and he asked if i could join him sa
    lunch.... i said yes.... then, alis na cya.... alam naman kc nyang im
    busy..... when i was about to enter the room, somebody bumped me and my
    precious project fell... gusto ko mang magalet... what can i do db?
    instead i ask my prof to give me another chance to do my project....
    naalala ko
    si mokong.... the lunch date.... kinuha ko ang cell ko to text him that i
    cant come to our meeting.... e kaso.... pag tinamaan k nga naman ng
    malas.... check operator service daw.... i tried to look for friends or
    other
    kakilala pero malas that day talaga....


    And so i took my lunch all by my self.... naalala ko yung letter....
    hinanap ko sa bag... WALA !!!! bumalik me sa corridor praying na andon
    pa yung sulat.... wala ren.... god! why? minsan lang magbigay ng sulat
    yon.... nawala pa.... dont know how to tell him about the letter....


    And so days and weeks passed, pag nagkikita kame... di nya ako
    pinapansin... ako, i tried to talk to him pero alam kong may kasalanan
    ako pero ganon ba kalaki ang nagawa kong di pagpunta at ganon na lang ang
    iwas nya?... sige... hinayaan ko na lang....
    months na ang binilang... i heard that he was dating a girl from the
    same school that we are in... masakit.... na sa iba ko pa narinig na sila
    na.... mas masakit na wala na akong halaga sa kanya.....


    Basta... ilang araw din yon na ganon ang nararamdaman ko.... weeks....
    months.... gagraduate na po ako.... i wonder what's instore for me in
    my last day in school.... and so i thought na puntahan yung favorite hang
    out namen.... when i was! about to get near the place.... i saw him...
    with
    the girl.... umiiyak ang bruha but i cant hear what they are talking
    about.... so ive decided to get out of that place before my tears burst
    out....
    and then a common frend ang sumalubong sa aken.... saying na buntis ang
    girl.... syempre.... durog na durog ang puso ko.... kung kaya nyo lang
    ma-imagine yung naramdaman ko.....


    The night of that same day.... naloka ang lola nyo.... nagparamdam ang
    mokong pagkaraan ng pagkatagal-tagal na panahon... i thought it was
    something good for me... for us.... pero i was wrong.... so wrong.....
    he gave me a wedding invitation and isa ako sa bridesmaids..... the
    girl... she was waiting in the car.... o db? dati motor lang ngaun... car
    na....


    And so the wedding came.... maganda po ako nun.... sabi ng nanay ko
    pero wala ng nagsecond the motion eh.... so naniwala na lang ako sa nanay
    ko.... then, there was this professor who came to see! me.... he handed
    over a
    letter with my name carefully printed on the enveloped.... he said that
    he looked for the owner of that letter kaso lang po malaki po ang skul
    namin kaya mahirap magkahanapan db? and so nung nakita nya ang name ko sa
    invitation, he decided to bring the letter thinking that it could save
    souls... daw....


    And so i was about to open the letter when the priest ask kung sino daw
    ang tututol... dedma ako.... alam namang manggulo pa ko noh....


    Binasa ko na ang letter..... nakakatouch po talaga.... he opened up his
    feelings for me.... hoping na meron din daw akong feelings for him....
    he ask that if i will show up to our hang-out the next day after he gave
    his letter, then it means that i also have feelings for him and that he
    would love me for the rest of our lives.... but if i wont.... then he will
    never open that topic again.... he pleaded to me na sana pumunta ako...
    ...


    If only i have that letter.... if only i knew about it.... kung di lang
    ako clumsy and carelss to keep that letter... things would be diffrent....
    if only.....


    And so i heard the priest announced the couple as husband and wife....
    ang sakit......


    Picture taking..... gusto mang sumabog ng nararamdaman ko.... as you
    know.... magaling akong magpigil.... pero masakit po talaga....
    sobra......


    After the picture taking...... niyakap ako ng bestfrend ko.... ang
    higpit.... and teary eyed nyang cnabi na....


    I still love you.......

    http://docotep.multiply.com/
    Need an Ambulance? We sell Zic Brand Oils and Lubricants. Please PM me.

  2. Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    6,753
    #2
    haiiiiiiiiiii... nakakluha.... syet!

  3. Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Posts
    2,244
    #3
    i think fictional un

  4. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    22,658
    #4
    Siguro fictional. Kasi sa creative writing daw manalo.

    Alam niyo may kakilala kaming pwedeng-pwede diyan sa creative writing. Magaling gumawa ng fiction, eh. hahahahaha. Calling djerm, ungas, mau, etc...hehehehe.

    http://docotep.multiply.com/
    Need an Ambulance? We sell Zic Brand Oils and Lubricants. Please PM me.

  5. Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Posts
    2,244
    #5
    the plot is good, but i dont think it's good enuf to win in a creative writing contest

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    14,822
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by gretzy
    the plot is good, but i dont think it's good enuf to win in a creative writing contest
    yup... kinda cheesy... and parang alam mo na ang ending!!!

  7. Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    300
    #7
    gretzy:::but it beats tha same plots of the telenovelas... he he he
    0

  8. Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Posts
    2,244
    #8
    good point!

  9. Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    2,202
    #9
    Originally posted by odell
    haiiiiiiiiiii... nakakluha.... syet!
    bilis mo naman bumigay!!!...:D

  10. Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    6,753
    #10
    sensitive eh...
    hahahahahahaha..

    ang drama!..
    tama na yan.. inuman na lang tayo.!

  11. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    214
    #11
    nice work.. tlgang creative ah.. :D
    Last edited by falken_09; February 22nd, 2004 at 11:30 PM.

  12. Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    140
    #12
    talaga bang uso na ang tag-lish sa mga modern articles?
    madami-dami narin ako kasing nababasa na parang ganyan ang format.. yung sinusulat ng author ang saktong salita kung pano nya ikukwento yung story pag kausap mo sya ng magkaharap kayo. (medyo hindi ko kasi gusto ang tag-lish... nakakinis kasi minsan basahin at pakinggan.. lalo na yung gumagamit ng "me" sa text)

    **opinyon ko lang po ito.. pasensya na kung may natamaan =)

    feeling critic naman ako... tama na nga yan... ika nga ni odell... inuman nalang! hehe! banzai!!! =)
    Last edited by Bianx; February 23rd, 2004 at 12:16 AM.

  13. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    3,754
    #13
    Parang common yung story nya.. panahon ko pa marami ng ganito nangyari hehehehe..

    "kung hindi Ukol hindi bubukol"

  14. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    9,894
    #14
    sige na nga feeling critic na rin ako like Bianx ;)

    i don't like the taglish either but what bothers me even more is all the misspellings and 'text message' abbreviations. i understand why this is done when you are texting and need to save time, but with a computer and keyboard??! in a UP Literary Writing competition?!

    and the story is unoriginal and a common theme in countless movies...original pa sana if the guy was an undercover agent for the FBI paranormal division and his 'bride' was a beautiful robot from the future plotting to kill the heroine because her son would grow up to be the leader of the human resistance against the machines :bwahaha:

  15. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    3,144
    #15
    malamang ang mga hurado ay babad sa mga telenovela, mas maganda pa rin mga kwentista ng liwayway noon.

  16. Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    734
    #16
    parang endless love... pakipot pa kasi eh... kaya ayan naunahan ka!

  17. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    3,790
    #17
    the "people/character" of the literary article are quite stupid....para nga talagang local telenovela....puros tanga ang character kaya walang nangyayari sa mga buhay...

    mas maganda pa nga yung mga south-american telenovelas....realistic ang mga characters....

    this is just my 2 cents.

    I hope walang taong ganyan sa tunay na buhay.....masasampal ko siguro sa katangahan (just my thoughts)....

  18. Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    4,085
    #18
    pero andami pa ring nahuhumaling sa mga ganitong istiorya..

    kaya walang nangyayari sa pilipinas eh..laging kinukumpara ang mga buhay natin sa mga ganitong istorya.

    haaayy..kelan kaya ako magkaka-gelpren ulit..??? hehehe..

  19. Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    30
    #19
    bakit pa kelangang fictional? e pwede namang true-to-life yung story di ba otep? :D

  20. Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    611
    #20
    Originally posted by OTEP
    Siguro fictional. Kasi sa creative writing daw manalo.

    Alam niyo may kakilala kaming pwedeng-pwede diyan sa creative writing. Magaling gumawa ng fiction, eh. hahahahaha. Calling djerm, ungas, mau, etc...hehehehe.
    Super creative nga, eh. Imaginative!

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