Infidelity...

[fourtheboys96]

Here's a classic story:

A man falls in love and marries a woman thinking she's the perfect woman for him. After a few years being married, he realizes that she's only 90% perfect (of course it's part of being human). In time, our hero meets another woman and finds the other 10% that his wife lacks.

He leaves his wife since he feels he is complete with the new woman, only to realize that he is now clinging to only 10% instead of the 90% that made him fall in love with his wife. End of story.

Moral: all of us, guys and girls, have our shortcomings that will come out sooner or later. Love may be a feeling in the start of a relationship, but it is also a decision. A decision to love whatever happens. If everyone sticks to the decision to love their wife/husbands inspite and despite, I guess there would be no broken families.

Panoorin nyo ung LOVE STORY, very realistic in our culture

Ikanga, in every great love story, there is a man, a woman, and a wife that comes between....hehehe

very well said.

a lot of people tend to look for the perfect mate when as the story suggest, no human is perfect.

but imho, perfection can also be subjective. like me, i know my wife has flaws and everything and she definitely is far from being a perfect human being. and so am i. but we have accepted that (i hope she did already :D) and i believe we complement each other very well. and thats just perfect for me!

[mbeige]

very well said.

a lot of people tend to look for the perfect mate when as the story suggest, no human is perfect.

but imho, perfection can also be subjective. like me, i know my wife has flaws and everything and she definitely is far from being a perfect human being. and so am i. but we have accepted that (i hope she did already :D) and i believe we complement each other very well. and thats just perfect for me!

It's when people still don't realize this and look for "more" do couples fail.

Perfection is definitely subjective. That's why couples complement each other, that's how they become perfect. That's why they need one another. At least this is my version.

Generalizations abound only when people have been afflicted by emotional burdens such as break-ups, infidelities, etc so anybody can claim that men or women are bound to commit such acts because they have experienced it for themselves and that's their point of view. If you ask why this happens, there is no correct or wrong answer. People will give you all sorts of answers based from their own experience. You may agree with some and disagree with others but ultimately, your partner and your bond are key to a good relationship. Other parties may come and go and tempt either one of you, it's up to you or your partner to decide if you fall into temptation. If you do, it probably wasn't meant to be. If not, then it shows that your relationship matters.

[hotchilly1315]

Here's a classic story:

A man falls in love and marries a woman thinking she's the perfect woman for him. After a few years being married, he realizes that she's only 90% perfect (of course it's part of being human). In time, our hero meets another woman and finds the other 10% that his wife lacks.

He leaves his wife since he feels he is complete with the new woman, only to realize that he is now clinging to only 10% instead of the 90% that made him fall in love with his wife. End of story.

Moral: all of us, guys and girls, have our shortcomings that will come out sooner or later. Love may be a feeling in the start of a relationship, but it is also a decision. A decision to love whatever happens. If everyone sticks to the decision to love their wife/husbands inspite and despite, I guess there would be no broken families.

Panoorin nyo ung LOVE STORY, very realistic in our culture

Ikanga, in every great love story, there is a man, a woman, and a wife that comes between....hehehe

why can't i relate to the story...parang kasing sa story mas pabor ako sa status mg mistress kaya para tuloy di ko xa maxado nagustuhan though i cried a bit:aray:

[badsekktor]

It's when people still don't realize this and look for "more" do couples fail.

Perfection is definitely subjective. That's why couples complement each other, that's how they become perfect. That's why they need one another. At least this is my version.

Generalizations abound only when people have been afflicted by emotional burdens such as break-ups, infidelities, etc so anybody can claim that men or women are bound to commit such acts because they have experienced it for themselves and that's their point of view. If you ask why this happens, there is no correct or wrong answer. People will give you all sorts of answers based from their own experience. You may agree with some and disagree with others but ultimately, your partner and your bond are key to a good relationship. Other parties may come and go and tempt either one of you, it's up to you or your partner to decide if you fall into temptation. If you do, it probably wasn't meant to be. If not, then it shows that your relationship matters.

i agree to this. it doesnt matter whatever flaws both of you have. the only thing that matters is the bond between you and your partner. If you have a really strong bond, whatever challenges that face your relationship, your marriage will survive. The only question is how strong is your bond. it seems that that most couples nowadays dont have that kind of bond strong enough to survive the test of the times...

[pup2]

I totally agree with you..wala din akong respeto sa mga ganyang babae..

Nakakafrustrate naman kasi na kahit ano gawin na babaeng pagmamahal/pag aalaga sa asawa niya eh parang mababaliwala lang kung may magtatangkang manira ng pamilya/relasyon ng mag asawa..:cry2:

May lalake pa bang nde babaero sa panahon ngayon?

Meron! Yung nadala na!

[pup2]

I deleted the last statement bro....

And that is why I am telling my wife not to feel jealous if I'm hooked with inanimate things, like cars. At least they won't bear kids.

Or, if I spend a lot of time, cleaning them(cars) in the garage. At least I'm not going anywhere.....

Or, if I spend some time with tsikot......

3505:kodak:

I don't go fooling around but I'd be VERY happy if my car can have kids. hehehe.

[mbeige]

Sabi nga ng wife ko, ok lang kung puro kotse atupagin ko wag lang mambabae

[wildthing]

as my boss points it out...simple lang needs ng lalaki -

kain konti - :eat:

inom konti - :toma:

dami k****t - :***:

if the last part is not met....this usually leads to infidelity

[oldblue]

as an equalizer, we males are just more direct in submitting to temptation.

pero be very very aware, mas madumi talaga mag-isip mga babae. kunwari pa-saint or malinis effect pero they're just like us.

just think of this, pag nalungkot or na-depress ang female, that's the time she'll succumb to temptation. pero tayo pag nalungkot may XBox, sports, gambling, bisyo inom muna bago mambabae

[Imau]

Here's a classic story:

A man falls in love and marries a woman thinking she's the perfect woman for him. After a few years being married, he realizes that she's only 90% perfect (of course it's part of being human). In time, our hero meets another woman and finds the other 10% that his wife lacks.

He leaves his wife since he feels he is complete with the new woman, only to realize that he is now clinging to only 10% instead of the 90% that made him fall in love with his wife. End of story.

Moral: all of us, guys and girls, have our shortcomings that will come out sooner or later. Love may be a feeling in the start of a relationship, but it is also a decision. A decision to love whatever happens. If everyone sticks to the decision to love their wife/husbands inspite and despite, I guess there would be no broken families.

Panoorin nyo ung LOVE STORY, very realistic in our culture

Ikanga, in every great love story, there is a man, a woman, and a wife that comes between....hehehe

After I reading your post, I remembered this....so true.

Don't throw away the 90% that you already have!
By Bo Sanchez
>From his book: You Have the Power to Create Love

ADULTERY happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

"Bo, this girl in my office is a real looker," many a husband will say.
"But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm head over heels
with her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender-- so many
things that my wife is not."

Sure.

Guys, trust me on this. Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman who
will be more charming. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Be a better cook.
Have greater *** appeal. Be a more efficient housekeeper. And you will find
a woman who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your
wife ever did. Because no wife is perfect. Because a wife will only have 90%
of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband looks for the missing 10%.

Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the
pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm
yesterday, Hahahaha..." Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and
pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young
sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels,
and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your wife is the quiet type (a rare find),
your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the
makings of a talk show host like Oprah.

But wait! That's only 10% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 90% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your wife's 90% the 1000% that represents all the years
that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together.
The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments
you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But
faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage. I'm talking about life!
About your jobs. About your friends. About your children. About your prayer
groups. About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through
the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They
have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow,
their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!" I
guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip!

Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class.
(Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable
in first class -- because they're not riding in a private Lear Jet?)

[hotchilly1315]

After I reading your post, I remembered this....so true.

Don't throw away the 90% that you already have!
By Bo Sanchez
>From his book: You Have the Power to Create Love

ADULTERY happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

"Bo, this girl in my office is a real looker," many a husband will say.
"But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm head over heels
with her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender-- so many
things that my wife is not."

Sure.

Guys, trust me on this. Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman who
will be more charming. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Be a better cook.
Have greater *** appeal. Be a more efficient housekeeper. And you will find
a woman who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your
wife ever did. Because no wife is perfect. Because a wife will only have 90%
of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband looks for the missing 10%.

Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the
pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm
yesterday, Hahahaha..." Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and
pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young
sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels,
and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your wife is the quiet type (a rare find),
your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the
makings of a talk show host like Oprah.

But wait! That's only 10% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 90% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your wife's 90% the 1000% that represents all the years
that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together.
The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments
you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But
faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage. I'm talking about life!
About your jobs. About your friends. About your children. About your prayer
groups. About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through
the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They
have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow,
their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!" I
guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip!

Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class.
(Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable
in first class -- because they're not riding in a private Lear Jet?)

i was really moved... no bluff.... that's something that people should realize esp those who could relate and into similar scenario... it really touched me not kidding

[Flagg]

Mga chong, you must know the truth:

Behind every great man is an even greater woman...


Kaya the more great women, the greater you'll be...

[HyBrideVo]

Why Do People Cheat?
Posted by Dr. Laura Berman

In my practice, I encounter adultery and cheating almost every day. Infidelity is a common theme in many relationships -- but the reasons behind it may surprise you.
Cheating is rarely about pure ***ual attraction. Infidelity is almost always about more than just ***. Indeed, some of the common reasons that people cheat are entirely based on emotional needs.

Perhaps one of the most common reasons behind infidelity is the need for appreciation. Someone who is feeling unloved or unappreciated may begin looking outside their marriage for sources of comfort and affirmation. Occasionally, these partners even blame their spouses for their infidelity - rationalizing it as, "Well, if he paid more attention to me, I wouldn't have to cheat," or "If she can't give me the love I need, I have a right to seek it elsewhere." However, if you aren't feeling loved or appreciated in your relationship, you need to take responsibility for those feelings and discover what is causing you feel that way. Do you feel unloved because your spouse is spending too much time at work? Are you jealous of your boyfriend's relationship with his female friends? By addressing the true issue and being upfront about personal and ***ual needs, couples can keep cheating out of the picture.

Another common reason for infidelity is revenge. Perhaps your partner cheated on you in the past or you merely have suspicions about his faithfulness. This might drive you to try to get back at your partner by committing similar offenses. However, as Gandhi once put it, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." If you have secret anger or bitterness towards your partner, quit hiding it! Make him or her aware of your feelings and decide if you're able to forgive and forget. If you can't, it's better to get out of the relationship rather than stay and cheat.

One often surprising reason behind infidelity is self-destruction. Some people have such low self-esteem that when something good happens to them (such as meeting and dating a great man or woman), they think they don't deserve that gift. In response to such feelings, these people may go out of their way to self-destruct their relationships. Other people keep their feelings hidden, thinking "better to break their heart before they can break mine." Self-esteem and trust issues this extreme may require outside support in the form of couples or individual counseling. If you believe your mate is suffering from such feelings, assist them by offering your love, praise, and affection.

If you want to protect your relationship from infidelity, you must first protect your relationship from the silent killers - jealousy, bitterness, low self-esteem, and mistrust. The only way to do this is through honest communication. Reveal your true emotions and needs to your partner and encourage him to do the same.

Here's what i read today and i think it's a good read

[oldblue]

Mga chong, you must know the truth:

Behind every great man is an even greater woman...


Kaya the more great women, the greater you'll be...

i used to believe in that tapos na-encounter ko yun term na Pandora
's box. why Pandora? why not Mang pandor na lang

[Nissan Salvaje]

From my personal experience, the answer to the question of why men still get into the scenario of having another woman in their lives even if they are married to a wonderful wife is because men are by nature prone to getting attracted to beautiful women. Some men will say that “kasi nahulog ang damdamin ko sa kanya dahil mabait siya, very understanding, is a good listener, etc… “ but the truth is everything starts with attraction. If you don’t keep it under control, then that attraction leads to lust. Lust is a powerful tool the devil uses to lead a man to sin. Lust, in analogy, is like a monster that lives in our hearts which gets bigger and stronger every time we feed them with lustful thoughts. Those lustful thoughts then lead to lustful acts. And every man has a certain degree of lust towards other women other than their wives. It just happens that most married men consciously make sure that they keep that lust in check to make sure that they don’t get into an extramarital relationship. And having an affair slowly destroys your very being. Day by day you become a more deceitful person. One day you’re just secretly reading the test messages of your mistress, and the other days you’ll be secretly allotting money—money which should rightfully belong to your wife and children—in order to go to remote establishments with your mistress, including motels.

I, for one, was stupid enough not to keep that lust under control. And so, fall hard I did. Because of my selfishness, I almost lost my family. Fortunately my wife stood by me and was able to forgive me. And I’ve learned my lesson, but the hard way. I’m sure most tsikoteers will not be happy knowing that you have a new member like me—a sinner, a bad person. But I feel that I need to share this so that others may not make the same terrible mistake that I made.

So to those who are on the brink of making the same mistake that I made, please think hard about what you’ll be getting yourself into. Don’t let your own selfish desires lead you into committing this terrible mistake. You’ll be risking losing the wonderful gift that is your wife, your children, the trust of your loved ones, the respect of your relatives and other people, and even your self-respect. I assure you… it’s not worth it.

[lstodomingo]

From my personal experience, the answer to the question of why men still get into the scenario of having another woman in their lives even if they are married to a wonderful wife is because men are by nature prone to getting attracted to beautiful women. Some men will say that “kasi nahulog ang damdamin ko sa kanya dahil mabait siya, very understanding, is a good listener, etc… “ but the truth is everything starts with attraction. If you don’t keep it under control, then that attraction leads to lust. Lust is a powerful tool the devil uses to lead a man to sin. Lust, in analogy, is like a monster that lives in our hearts which gets bigger and stronger every time we feed them with lustful thoughts. Those lustful thoughts then lead to lustful acts. And every man has a certain degree of lust towards other women other than their wives. It just happens that most married men consciously make sure that they keep that lust in check to make sure that they don’t get into an extramarital relationship. And having an affair slowly destroys your very being. Day by day you become a more deceitful person. One day you’re just secretly reading the test messages of your mistress, and the other days you’ll be secretly allotting money—money which should rightfully belong to your wife and children—in order to go to remote establishments with your mistress, including motels.

I, for one, was stupid enough not to keep that lust under control. And so, fall hard I did. Because of my selfishness, I almost lost my family. Fortunately my wife stood by me and was able to forgive me. And I’ve learned my lesson, but the hard way. I’m sure most tsikoteers will not be happy knowing that you have a new member like me—a sinner, a bad person. But I feel that I need to share this so that others may not make the same terrible mistake that I made.

So to those who are on the brink of making the same mistake that I made, please think hard about what you’ll be getting yourself into. Don’t let your own selfish desires lead you into committing this terrible mistake. You’ll be risking losing the wonderful gift that is your wife, your children, the trust of your loved ones, the respect of your relatives and other people, and even your self-respect. I assure you… it’s not worth it.

i just hope you could share your thoughts to one person i knew, at least he could talk to someone who is honest enough to admit coz he is still in the stage of denial but when drunk he always says that he is very sorry for what he has done that is only when he is drunk hahahah ...

[pup2]

Ako din. It REALLY ticks me off when people who cheat boast of their 'accomplishments' rather than show remorse. Hello! Hindi lang kayo ang may kayang gumawa ng ganyan!

[lstodomingo]

WHy do men, even not been deprived from being a playboy during singleness still get into to the scenario of having another woman? Does the habbit of looking at your opposite *** makes you unfaithful coz it might lead to a pleasure... is it really true that in a marriage infedelity problems should be expected... what should the affected party do to give an ultimatum?

Why do women assume it's only the men that can be unfaithful in a marriage?

The ultimatum would be to dissolve the marriage and to get back on your own life without the unfaithful person.

Ako din. It REALLY ticks me off when people who cheat boast of their 'accomplishments' rather than show remorse. Hello! Hindi lang kayo ang may kayang gumawa ng ganyan!

korek k jan!! but usually if the main agenda is just for revenge... few of those are satisfied... what the other party should watch for is when the person they are taking for granted falls out of love

[uls]

Is fidelity natural? Or is fidelity a Judeo-Christian invention?

[oldblue]

malabo sa jews kasi sila nga nagimbento ng orgy eh