How to end an illicit love affair?

[creepy]

Agree with you that there is nothing wrong with *** between consenting adults. Just wanted to put things in perspective that #2 has a BF and our TS came in (no pun intended) and bed her. Again that is consenting adults. Now with the TS painting a picture that the #2 is so pure and decent that is where it becomes subjective. Let us put it this way. If you had a GF you proposed marriage to and you were about to discuss the engagement and she has *** with a guy she recently met. What would you call your GF?

Again not being judgemental. Lets keep things in perspective.

Even for the TS. Lets imagine it happened to your GF before you got married. What would you think of her? Lets be honest. Of course the TS can say #2 is all nice and sweet and decent. His perspective may be biased since he was the one who dipped his wick in another's well.

Then again just trying to present another perspective. Some contend that there are no absolute rights and wrongs only consequences.

Hmmm... you sound sensible.

[mikaztro]

I have been married for more than 7 years, and went steady with my wife for 5years before we got married. For nearly 13 years, I am completely faithful to her and not once did it ever crossed my mind to betray her trust. But early this year, my fidelity was put to the test and I failed miserably.

I had an affair with a co-employee, but we do not share the same office or building as she is assigned in the province and i'm here in manila. The thing is, she doesnt know that i'm married. I guess she believed me and doesnt bother to verify my civil status as I lied to her when she asked me about it several times.

Another thing is, she has boyfriend working abroad who asked her to marry him once he returns to the country this december. In principle, she accepted the marriage proposal and was in fact making preparations for the marriage.

Unfortunately, we met while I visited their office. Our first encounter is purely professional, until we had a friendly dinner date. She is very beautiful and an amazing person. A very nice and sweet lady. Our age gap is more than 10 years, she is only 23 and im 35, but this did not prevent me from falling in love with her. Don't get me wrong, I still love my wife dearly but I guess there really comes a time when a man is distracted by a new interest and cannot fight the temptation.

Now my conscience is bothering me tremendously, because the very values (faithfulness, loyalty, honesty) which I hold in high regard are now completely gone. Plus the fact that im afraid that I might impregnate her and destroy her bright future. She now loves me more than her boyfriend, which she admitted during one of our liaison. She is now considering breaking-up with her boyfried.

I am completely ashamed of what I have done and I don't know how to tell it to her. I guess it is a very cruel thing to do to a wonderful person and I dont know how open it up to her without hurting her so much. I've accepted the fact that she will hate me for my dishonesty.

My advice to you...JUST STOP IT!

Been there..done that.

You should have told her you are married in the first place. It is unfair for the girl and to your family. Why pretend? It only complicates things. While you are still in control of things...try to cut the relationship early. You can stop it by doing the following:

- Telling her the truth and what you feel about the whole situation.
- Avoid constant meet ups or dates.
- Avoid intimacy with her in txt or in person.
- Spend more time with your family and less time with her.
- Tell her your immediate and future plans for your family.
- If you still love your kids/wife, then tell your gf so.
- Don't commit anything to her.
- Engage in other sports activities to keep you mentally fit.
- Try spiritual enlightenment.


Good luck! I hope this helps.

[silver streak]

how to end the affair? it will be all up to you tsikoteer...
the distance between you can help, for a start (unless the other party attempts to make a successful transfer of assignment). the distance wil help you forget (if you allow yourself to)...you can again try to focus on your partner/family and work.
change contact numbers--your celfone, office phone, whatever fone or means of contact (i.e. email address). but you have to also delete the other party's number from your celfone.
if you have fotos of her, take one deep breath and throw it all away...this will help you forget the person...take away any reminder of her...
if ever your path crosses, iwasan mo (mahirap? it sure is...but you have to try)
these FORGETING HER ways will help you get back on the right road (back to your wife/family) and may keep you from taking the left turn (gets mo--kaliwa?).
but then again, it will all depend on you..your will power (sabi nga natin sa pilipinas: "kailangan politcal will...")
good luck!

[silver streak]

Then she must have fallen hard for you to engage in "spur of the moment"
***.

it will not matter if the other party would have really fallen hard with the other as to eventually engage in ***...as you have said ..."problemang pogi..."
TS would want to know how to end the bind TS has gotten himself into...?

[fourtheboys96]

remember guys, the girl don't know that her BF is married...so if *** is normal between lovers (both singles) and taboo if it's with a married man...then I think the girl was not being indecent in this matter....

we can't judged the girl of being indecent for sleeping with a guy, there was a deceit on the part of TS.

maybe the girl thought that TS was a good catch, successful, single, good looking (I assume)...and can be a good husband (no pun intended )

i overlooked this info. my bad.

so maybe she's decent but the guy is not hehehehe. at least TS admitted his mistakes.

eto na lang bro, madami na tao sa Pilipinas. wag mo na dagdagan pa.

[shadow]

any updates?...

wala pa bang dramatic scenes?

[badsekktor]

hehehe! baka pwede natin ipasa sa mmk yun story!

[maverickjazzy]

can you honestly say this girl is decent??? oh man. i must be sleeping for the past 20 years. decency has taken a different meaning now.

actually decency can be subjective, what is decent to one person might be indecent to another. although i'm standing on shaky grounds, when i say a person is decent since i admitted to my inappropriate behaviour, still i know a person is decent.

we cannot just conclude that the woman is indecent just because she had an affair with a married person for which she did not know. i know it may sound shallow or bias, but we cannot judge a person by simply reading this thread and without knowing the circumstances and knowing the actual person.

[t@n0d]

we cannot just conclude that the woman is indecent just because she had an affair with a married person for which she did not know. i know it may sound shallow or bias, but we cannot judge a person by simply reading this thread and without knowing the circumstances and knowing the actual person.

Remember, she is still committed to her BF abroad. Looking at the meaning of decency, I don't think it's right to have another relationship.
It's a relationship with ***. Was it the decent thing for her BF?

Hmmm ...

[silver streak]

o bakit napunta ang kwentuhan sa decency? akala ko how to end an illicit affair ang kwentuhan na ito? hwag na lang mag-judge . . . decent man or indecent, what should be addressed is how to end the compromising relationship.

at sana meron update kung ano ang kinahinatnan ng isinaguni sa thread na ito.