Sample of a Modern Love Letter

[gretzy]

Dearest Samantha,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in
love with you since Tuesday, the 17th of August 2001.

With reference to the meeting held between us on the
17th of August 2001 at 1500 hours, I would like to
present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair
would be on probation for a period of no less than
three months and depending on compatibility, would be
made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be
continuous relationship training and relationship
appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover
to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and
entertainment would initially be shared equally
between us. Later,based on your performance, I might
take up a larger share of the expenses.
However, I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care
of, on your expense account. I request you to kindly
respond within 30 days of receiving this letter,
failing which, this offer would be cancelled without
further notice and I shall be considering someone
else. I would be happy, if you could forward this
letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up
this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely,
Max



************************************************** *

REPLY TO THE MODERN LOVE LETTER:


Dear Max,

Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased
to inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for
romance.

However, you should be informed that there are certain
conditions of acceptance. Promotional prospects are to
my satisfaction. However, please enlighten me as to
your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be
generous.

I also need to be assured that there is sufficient
security with regard to this commitment. If there is
any chance at all of retrenchment or consequent
disinterest on your part, then I should receive
monetary compensation according to union standards.
Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will
agree that an expense account should be arranged for
my access in light of the VIP I shall be entertaining.
In addition, housing and transport allowances should
be in order and nothing less than a Jaguar is in
order.

Please also note that there should be no moonlighting
restrictions placed on myself. If you are still
interested in the relationship, please reply on an
urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent
letters of interest.

Please also note that my sister is happily employed.


Yours perhaps,
Samantha

[CaRGirL]

grabe... modern nga!

sigurista! hehehe... Ü

[gretzy]

parang business letter noh? pero cute,witty, madating!

[ephraim]

oo nga.. hehe

so generation namin ganyan dapat love letter.. haha

[dazedchiq]

natawa ako dun... i dont know if i'll find it cute or annoying if anyone gave me that letter.. hahaha

[bardigones]

hmmmmmmmmm...

[otanex]

ibang klase ang kahilingan ng babae,,, JAGUAR for the transportation.. heheehehe..

[odell]

baka mabasted ako lalo nyan pagkaganun.hahaha

[gretzy]

Yours perhaps.hahaha

i was trying to make a version of the letters pero di ko matapos-tapos

ill post it here pag nagawa ko

[5Speed]

hehehe....interesting...

[RedHorse]

Originally posted by otanex
ibang klase ang kahilingan ng babae,,, JAGUAR for the transportation.. heheehehe..

from an arab perspective:

all these money + jag for a little pussy?

[kiper]

walangya..business writing yan eh..hehehe..

[stinkaboy]

ok ah....sigurista nga lg

[rlp1099]

Dear Sirs:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and Opera Night 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as Poker Night 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help please!!!!

Jane

--------------------------------------

Dear Jane,

This is a very common problem women complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed.

Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0 In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings Divorce/Child Support". You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of the root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME" Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP!
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a "C:\APOLOGIZE" command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, Beer 6.0 Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save your- self some trouble by following this tech tip.

Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional soft-ware to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.

After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixesBroken Things 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shut down of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!"

[EC248M]

Acceptance of BF


Dear Johny,

I am please to inform you that effective today I am hereby accepting you as my Acting Boyfriend. As such you shall report to me everynow and then.

It is understood that you will undergo a testing period after which you will then be my regular Boyfriend.

Your benefits will be free holding hands, Going out to a class restaurant and free to visit me in the house untill 8PM.

Moreover, upon permanency to Regular BF, your benefits will be upgraded.

Congratulations.


Juana.




Upon approval as Regular BF ......



Dear Johny,

This is to confirm you as my regular BF, with a corresponding benefits of Kissing me anytime you want, bring me to a place you want and Timeless visit.

It is understood further that you should be a good boyfriend to me and perform well to make me happy and satisfied.

Moreover, your previous benefits during your acting period still carries.

Thank you I hope you will like it. Congratulations.



Juana

[gretzy]

nice... did u write those letters?

[EC248M]

It' my own idea, madam gretzy.

[gearspeed]

Ganda naman ng mga love letters niyo..:D