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  1. Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    2
    #1
    okay, I have this friend na babae na napaka close minded. i dunno, but I really care for her and don't want her to swerve to the "wrong way" (pun intended) (i meant alcohol and other stuffs. she's into this before! yes but I (we actually) helped her to overcome it) she doesn't want to be become friends with me anymore either.

    all of this started when another friend told her na nung dumating sya, (at naging close kami) eh parang hindi na kami masyadong naging close nung another friend. talk about blaming herself. now she wants me to have more time with that friend instead of her. then she keeps saying things like babalik na daw sya sa pag inom. I don't want her to do so kasi. i tried talking to her, but she's very a close minded person. when she makes decisions, it will be the end of it, not thinking what will be the next outcome.

    I'm getting frustrated na, but don't want to give up on her either.

    help naman..

  2. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,636
    #2
    BTW, ako ang nag post nyan kanina^^

    having problems logging in kanina kasi ngayon lang nakapasok.

    update. i heard just now from my classmate na nakita daw ng ate nya uminom kasama yung ibang mga classmate at kaibigan. I feel very disappointed.

  3. Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    6,104
    #3
    You can only go so far. You have a life of your own to manage. Kung ayaw nya tumino, bahala sya. Ma-stress ka lang. Although I admire your concern for a friend. Mas effective ang tough love sa mga katulad nya. Kumbaga, Wag ka masyado magpakita na affected ka kasi parang pagkain yan eh, lalo sila nagugutom sa ganun klaseng attention. They need, on their own, to realize that what they are doing is wrong.

    Ayain mo to do something dangerous, like whitewater rafting. :bwahaha:


    PS:
    Ang sarap pala mag-Whitewater rafting sa CdO! Super! The best! Lagi na syang part ng itinerary ko whenever I'm there. Hahaha!

  4. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,636
    #4
    thanks for the reply. I think you're right though. but I think it won't hurt to talk to her even once more. what could I do kaya to make her realize na mali ang ginagawa nya?

    P.S. : edit on my first post: *but she's a very close-minded person.
    Last edited by JJCarEnthusiast; November 18th, 2009 at 09:00 PM.

  5. Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    4,642
    #5
    Sir JJ, if you have time, you might want to read this.. This article is from Bo Sanchez, it's somehow related..I really admire you for your care to your friend..Pero sadyang may mga tao talagang ganoon, Prayer na lang siguro ang mai-ooffer natin sa kanila and let Bro do the rest..

    http://bosanchez.ph/stop-trying-to-fix-people/

  6. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,636
    #6
    thanks po sir.. yes I've been praying for her na, na sana e guide sya palagi ni bro and make her realize what is wrong and what is right.

    thanks for the link din, I find it funny yet true. not done reading yet, mahaba-habang basahan to. hehe

  7. Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    939
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by W_R_C View Post
    okay, I have this friend na babae na napaka close minded. i dunno, but I really care for her and don't want her to swerve to the "wrong way" (pun intended) (i meant alcohol and other stuffs. she's into this before! yes but I (we actually) helped her to overcome it) she doesn't want to be become friends with me anymore either.

    all of this started when another friend told her na nung dumating sya, (at naging close kami) eh parang hindi na kami masyadong naging close nung another friend. talk about blaming herself. now she wants me to have more time with that friend instead of her. then she keeps saying things like babalik na daw sya sa pag inom. I don't want her to do so kasi. i tried talking to her, but she's very a close minded person. when she makes decisions, it will be the end of it, not thinking what will be the next outcome.

    I'm getting frustrated na, but don't want to give up on her either.

    help naman..
    Best thing to do is not to deal with them. In order for a person to change it needs to come from them and later on habits will be formed. It seems that your friend has a habit of sticking on the wrong path, panalangin na lang ang makakapagpabago dyan.

    Read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens (maski hindi ka na teenager).
    Last edited by froshie1; November 18th, 2009 at 11:34 PM.

  8. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,636
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by froshie1 View Post
    Best thing to do is not to deal with them. In order for a person to change it needs to come from them and later on habits will be formed. It seems that your friend has a habit of sticking on the wrong path, panalangin na lang ang makakapagpabago dyan.

    Read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens (maski hindi ka na teenager).
    natatakot kasi ako kasi baka when the time comes when she realizes her own mistakes, it would be too late.

    btw, i will try to look for the article you're saying. tapusin ko muna yung by bo sanchez, great and inspiring article, indeed.

  9. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,636
    #9
    actually, someone also told me to just let her have her own way. pabayaan ko na daw sya. pero deep inside me, sabi ko, it's better said than done, eh.

  10. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    29,354
    #10
    You can only help someone so much.

    Beyond that point, that person must want to help themselves.

  11. Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    939
    #11
    Quote Originally Posted by JJCarEnthusiast View Post
    natatakot kasi ako kasi baka when the time comes when she realizes her own mistakes, it would be too late.

    btw, i will try to look for the article you're saying. tapusin ko muna yung by bo sanchez, great and inspiring article, indeed.
    It's not an article. It's a book.


    actually, someone also told me to just let her have her own way. pabayaan ko na daw sya. pero deep inside me, sabi ko, it's better said than done, eh.
    responsibility na ng magulang nya iyon at sa kanyang sarili. tignan mo problema mo, apektado ka while sya hindi hehehehe. you're the one affected by her vices pero sya hindi.

  12. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,636
    #12
    Quote Originally Posted by froshie1 View Post
    It's not an article. It's a book.




    responsibility na ng magulang nya iyon at sa kanyang sarili. tignan mo problema mo, apektado ka while sya hindi hehehehe. you're the one affected by her vices pero sya hindi.
    pero sya parin ang mag susuffer ng consequences. ewan ko nga ba, I think grabe lang talaga ang concern ko sa kanya.

  13. Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,398
    #13
    Quote Originally Posted by W_R_C View Post
    i tried talking to her, but she's very a close minded person. when she makes decisions, it will be the end of it, not thinking what will be the next outcome.

    I'm getting frustrated na, but don't want to give up on her either.

    help naman..
    That sums her up pretty much. Don't get too close or you'll also get dragged down the abyss. You don't want to get into a situation that's over your head. If she's what she is, her situation can escalate out of control. If she's someone you have to come home to, fine. It doesn't seem to be the case here though.

    Cut your losses and concentrate on those who care about themselves.
    Last edited by Jun aka Pekto; November 19th, 2009 at 12:49 AM.

  14. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,636
    #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Jun aka Pekto View Post
    That sums her up pretty much. Don't get too close or you'll also get dragged down the abyss. You don't want to get into a situation that's over your head. If she's what she is, her situation can escalate out of control. If she's someone you have to come home to, fine. It doesn't seem to be the case here though.

    Cut your losses and concentrate on those who care about themselves.
    ito nga kinatatakutan kong mangyari sa kanya eh.

  15. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,636
    #15
    hmmmm...

    kanina lang we went home riding the same jeep. may mga classmates akong naging "bate", didn't really set it up pero sumabay na ako sa panahon since sabay naman sila uuwi. ayun kami nalang dalawa ang another classmate, who understood the situation and turn his back from us. so i started talking to a girl's back without the response of anything. hindi talaga nya ako kinausap except for body languages na "ewan" and "hindi" hindi when I'm asking her kung di ba talaga nya ako papansinin

    so there I go talking about lahat ng mga gusto kong sabihin. even I didn't get a response from her, at least parang nabunutan ako ng tinik sa dibdib ko, as this is the first time to talk to her personally about the certain issue. btw, she told me the things in my first post through text only. kaya mabigat loob ko kasi di kami nakakapag usap personally.

    hindi pa nga ako bumaba sa bababaan ko talaga, para lang makasusap sana sya. sinundan ko pa sya hanggang makasakay sya nung last ride papunta sa kanila. while walking I'm still talking without any response again. oh, may response pala sabi ko, wag kanang babalik sa pag iinom ha. sabi nya, babalik nga ako.

    that's why I'm pointing out to the drinking issue seriously, because we're still students. high school specifically. may nalaman pala ako, may problema din sya sa family nya, kasi feeling daw nya walang nag cacare sa kanya. so I'm assuming na kulang ung attention na nabibigay sa kanya ng family nya. only her lola and uncle were left as her family, her parents were separated with each his own family and even siblings. she has brothers/sisters from both sides but with different father/mother. her life is very complicated.

  16. Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    4,642
    #16
    Sana she finds her way to visit Bro..Siguro sir tell her to pray, even though parang mahirap siguro nyang intindihin yung word na 'pray' sa situation nya ngayon, pero mukhang yun na lang yung magagawa nya.. Ang pag-inom wala namang mangyayari sa kanya dun, oo sasabihin nila ang inom eh nakakawala ng problema, pero temporary lang, di pa maganda sa kalusugan..

  17. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    8,452
    #17
    ito lang maitatanong ko sa yo jj...





    [SIZE=6]M a h a l m o b a y a n ? !

    :inlove:
    [/SIZE]

how do you freakin' deal with close or narrow minded people?