The Kia Carnival is a good choice... the seats are better spaced than in the Grand Starex, and you've got tons of elbow room for lounging. Only problem is, it's only the LWB model that actually has luggage room. The SWB will either carry seven people and groceries or just five people and luggage.

The engine and platform are both generations ahead of your old Carnival, and benefit more from shared parts with Hyundai than the old one did. It's a big engine, though... and even if it's diesel, the size of the engine will make for 7 km/l driving in traffic.

Still, from your criteria, it's the best choice amongst the three. Although I can't say whether or not the suspension will be durable, the engine itself, like most Hyundai CRDis, should be quite reliable.