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January 16th, 2016 08:33 PM #32
You'll just have to balance it. While stopping for several seconds, it should be ok to leave it in D. But if the stop is going to be longer than a few minutes (or if you've been stationary for more than a while already), putting it in N would allow you to relax your foot. With the brake lights off as well, the driver behind you would be thankful.
Shifting it between N and D too frequently will theoretically add wear to the shifter linkages, as well as some added wear to the pertinent clutch (with the engaging and dis-engaging). Clutches don't wear out when they're either fully engaged or fully dis-engaged. It's when they first make contact in which a little bit of slip happens, is when clutches wear a bit of their friction material. So the idea is to keep the shifts to a practical minimum.