Sins of the Son
May 21, 2004

The house of lies surrounding a man who murdered his parents and sister has fallen down around him, writes Lee Glendinning.

There was a strangling darkness in the heart of Sef Gonzales. In poetry penned as a boy, he begged God to free him. "Just what is it in me? Sometimes I don't know," he implored. "Though you're in me now/I fail and hurt you still ... you have forgiven me/too many times it seems. Take me out of the dark Lord/'cause I don't want to be alone."

Written in a year 8 class, it is a glimpse into the mind of a then 14-year-old. To his teachers, the poem was a worthy example of writing, but to Gonzales it was part of a deception.

He had plagiarised it from a sacred Catholic song from the Philippines. It presaged another time, in July 2001, when he chose it as a hymn for the grieving congregation to sing over the caskets of his father, Teddy, mother, Mary Loiva, and sister, Clodine, after he had killed them.

During his murder trial, which ended with three guilty verdicts yesterday, 23-year-old Gonzales emerged as a paradox. Angelic, smooth, sweet, small, ambitious, a charming friend and an easily smitten lover. And at the same time fierce, physically strong, scheming, full of guile, jealous and ridden with ***ual guilt. Central to his tragedy were the hidden tensions within his family.

Teddy Gonzales believed the name he gave his first child had never been bestowed on any other. Sef lamented at the funeral that his father had promised to reveal its true meaning once he turned 21. Now, he said, he would never know its origins.

It is possible the devout Catholic father took the name Sef from the book of Genesis, slightly altering the spelling of the third son of Adam and Eve, Seth. According to the Bible story it was Seth who continued the human race after his elder brother, Cain, murdered Abel.

But Sef owed his father so much more than his name. A prosperous childhood surrounded by extended family in Baguio City, 250 kilometres north of Manila, was shaken by a violent earthquake. The family-built hotel was demolished and Sef, trapped by his leg in the darkness, screamed: "Papa, Papa, Papa." Hearing the cries, Teddy ran back into the collapsing building, freed his son and pulled him to safety. Sef owed his father his life.

There were thunder claps in North Ryde the wintry night in July that Teddy Gonzales was driving home from work. The home phone went unanswered when he tried ringing. The family's dream home - decorated by his wife and complete with an altar at the top of the stairs where the family prayed to Our Lady Queen of Peace - sat opposite the home of the children's grandmother, Amelita Claridades.

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