Share your green jokes...

**tidus1203** · April 3rd, 2009 05:15 PM

The thread can be controversial so let us just try our best to make it as clean as possible without losing the fun. I hope the moderators don't find it violating the rules.

This one is not really a green joke, its more of the naughty kind...

TITLE: The wishing hill

MODERATOR: May isang enkantada ang lumapit sa ating tatlong bayani. Si John the American, Si Tanaka the Japanese, at si Jose the Filipino.

ENKANTADA: Mga bayani merong isang wishing hill sa labas ng bayan. Dahil lahat kayo ay masisipag at may malasakit sa kapwa, bibigyan ko kayo ng oportunidad na mabigyan ang inyong kahilingan. Ang kailangan lang ninyong gawin ay lumuhod sa wishing hill at isigaw ng malakas ang inyong kahilingan at agad agad makukuha na ninyo ang inyong kahilingan...

JOHN: Aba ayos yan! Sige ako mauuna.

NARRATOR: So naglakbay si John sa wishing hill at lumuhod...

JOHN: Gusto kong maging kamukha ni Brad Pitt!

NARRATOR: Kinabukasan pag ka gising ni John.

JOHN : Hollywood, here I come! Ang gwapo ko na. Lahat ng babae magugustuhan ako. Ako na ang crush ng bayan!!

NARRATOR: Kinabukasan si Tanaka naman ang pumunta sa wishing hill, lumuhod at hiningi ang kanyang kahilingan...

TANAKA: Gusto ko yumaman. Gusto ko ng 500 BILLION YEN! (roughly P250B PHP, or $5B USD)

NARRATOR: Kinabukasan, pag tingin ni Tanaka sa kanyang bank account ayun nandun na yung 500 BILLION YEN na kanyang kahilingan.

JOSE: Ako naman, effective nga ang wishing hill si John at si Tanaka nakuha ang mga gusto nila. Ako kaya ano ba gusto ko, sige sa wishing hill ko na pagisipan...

NARRATOR: Naglakbay din si Jose sa wishing hill at lumuhod, kaso lang...

JOSE: ARAY!!! S - H - I - T!!!!!

NARRATOR: Di namalayan ni Jose na may pako pala dun sa niluhudan niya...

JOHN: Tanaka, nagaalala na ako kay Jose. Nasan na kaya sya?

TANAKA: Sabi niya babalik na siya ngayon, kahapon pa siya umalis papuntang wishing hill ah...

JOHN: Tara puntahan natin sya, nagaalala na ako para sa kanya...

NARRATOR: Naglakbay si John at si Tanaka sa wishing hill. At isang masamang amoy ang sumalubong sa kanila...

TANAKA: Ano ba yan bakit ang baho. Uy ano yang malaking ebak na yan sa gitna ng wishing hill

JOHN: Si Jose ata yan ah! T A E naging T A E SYA!!!

**shadow** · April 3rd, 2009 08:51 PM

ito lang ha pag nag reply si ULS at natawa siya, iba na talaga ibig sabihin niyan...

peace bro....

**falken** · April 3rd, 2009 09:03 PM

From: www.jokeforum.com

He Can Drive
adult
There was this guy sitting on a park bench muttering to himself and spitting.

He would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, he would say, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive"... then spit.

A man sits down next to him and asks him, "What's going on here? You keep saying, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive, then you spit."

"Well," says the guy, "my friend just got a brand new sports car, so he calls me and asks me if I want to go for a ride. So, I say sure, why not? He picks me up and we drive up to the mountains. After we have lunch, we start back down the mountain and his brakes go out!!He's pumping the pedal, and nothing!! So now we're picking up speed and the road is all twisty and curvy. We're going faster and faster, and it's hard to stay on the road. I've got my fingers embedded in the dashboard, and I'm pleading with him to do something!! We're going about 90 mph now, with a sheer cliff on our right, a 500 foot drop on the other side, an 18 wheeler truck right on our butts, and an overturned motor home right in front of us. Well, I figure this is it! I just knew we were gonna die! So I turned to him and said, "Buddy, if you can get us outta this, I'll give you the best damn blow job you've ever had!"

He paused ... then spit. "DAMN, THAT SON OF A BITCH CAN **DRIVE**!!"

Submitted By:
Missie

**tidus1203** · April 3rd, 2009 09:37 PM

Originally Posted by shadow

ito lang ha pag nag reply si ULS at natawa siya, iba na talaga ibig sabihin niyan...

peace bro....

Hay kung wala kang masabing matino, might as well wag ka na mag-post.

**pjkhyra** · April 3rd, 2009 11:56 PM

:bounceD: natawa ako d2 ah!!

to be edited... hanap pa ako then share ko ang mahanap ko...

Originally Posted by falken

From: www.jokeforum.com

He Can Drive
adult
There was this guy sitting on a park bench muttering to himself and spitting.

He would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, he would say, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive"... then spit.

A man sits down next to him and asks him, "What's going on here? You keep saying, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive, then you spit."

"Well," says the guy, "my friend just got a brand new sports car, so he calls me and asks me if I want to go for a ride. So, I say sure, why not? He picks me up and we drive up to the mountains. After we have lunch, we start back down the mountain and his brakes go out!!He's pumping the pedal, and nothing!! So now we're picking up speed and the road is all twisty and curvy. We're going faster and faster, and it's hard to stay on the road. I've got my fingers embedded in the dashboard, and I'm pleading with him to do something!! We're going about 90 mph now, with a sheer cliff on our right, a 500 foot drop on the other side, an 18 wheeler truck right on our butts, and an overturned motor home right in front of us. Well, I figure this is it! I just knew we were gonna die! So I turned to him and said, "Buddy, if you can get us outta this, I'll give you the best damn blow job you've ever had!"

He paused ... then spit. "DAMN, THAT SON OF A BITCH CAN **DRIVE**!!"

Submitted By:
Missie

**shadow** · April 4th, 2009 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by tidus1203

Hay kung wala kang masabing matino, might as well wag ka na mag-post.

napipikon na si Tidus...hehehe

ok. I'll get out of US dollar now...ayy get out of your thread pala...

pero seriously nakakatawa yun joke mo...:rofl:

**chua_riwap** · April 4th, 2009 02:11 PM

i

to lang ha pag nag reply si ULS at natawa siya, iba na talaga ibig sabihin niyan...

peace bro....

Ha-ha! :hysterical:

Gen. Miting na lang mag-reply........

**renzo_d10** · April 4th, 2009 09:28 PM

Patpat kong matigas, labas pasok sa butas. Pag diniin kiliti'y mararating.

Ano yun?

Cotton Buds. Mga isip niyo ha!

**tidus1203** · April 5th, 2009 12:12 AM

Well I have a slight alteration of that...

Anong meron si BRUCE LEE na MAIKLI, na meron din si ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER na MAHABA, pero wala si MADONNA?

E di APELYIDO. Mga isip nyo ha...

**renzo_d10** · April 5th, 2009 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by tidus1203

Well I have a slight alteration of that...

Anong meron si BRUCE LEE na MAIKLI, na meron din si ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER na MAHABA, pero wala si MADONNA?

E di APELYIDO. Mga isip nyo ha...

:bruce_lee:

:rofl: