AMC Another Machine Crashed

AUDI Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women but
Broke My Wallet


BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everwhere, Dead On the Day Guarantee Expires

FIAT Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!

FORD Frigin Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On RACE DAY
Family on Road Dead Forget Off Road Driving

GM General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Machint

GMC Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?

HONDA Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive

MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MORRIS My Only Reliable Road-Car In Service

OLDSMOBILE Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PONTIAC Poor Old Ninja Thinks It's A Caddy.

SAAB Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown

SATURN Sad Ass Tiny Unfinished Remodoled Nissan

TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW Virtyally Worthless