Things Man Should Never Do Past 30

[tinky]

[SIZE="4"]Things A Man Should Never Do Past 30[/SIZE]

1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack.

5. Name his "unit" his name plus junior.

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"

10. Skip.

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word vagina.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

[SIZE="4"]Things A Man Should Never Do Past The Age of One[/SIZE]

By Jasper Jacobs, age 17 months

Get circumcised.

Spend more than ten minutes looking at a checkerboard pattern (exception: peyote users).

Look longingly at his mother's breasts.

Urinate in his mouth.

Be terrified of Mr. Noodle on Elmo's World.

Cry at the sight of a wooden spoon.

Eat pureed Wheat Thins.

Suck on the corner of a laptop.

Go willingly into the arms of strangers.

Lose neck control.

Have a favorite Higglytown Hero.

"Make nice."

Wear a unitard.

Read The Fountainhead.

[cutedoc]

i just turn 30, iet i look like 24, and i feel like 18=)

11. Take a camera to a nude beach = spy cam that is=)

21. Hug amusement-park characters = i hug and took pic of mickey, lined up with kids at disneyland, happened last year 29 then, but id still line up and take pic with mickey even after 30 more years

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties = got two of these, i wore them on my college grad pic, at my oath taking as well, its a gift from my prof back in college, i would still wear it under a coat=)

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo = i am eager to try this=)

[onat_1]

guilty ako sa #26, up to now ganyan pa rin ako.

[nugundam93]

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

- i bet i'll never outgrow this.

i'll check back in 5 years to see if this holds. :lol:

[j_avonni]

No. 42. I got curios and I just did. Hmmm, interesting!

[GasJunkie]

tap on the glass = why????






:fly:

[bajumbo]

aba!!! personalan na ito wehehehehe!!!

[mazdamazda]

hehehe... this is a good read.

[BoEinG_747]

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties <<<< buti na lang mejas ang sa akin...

[roninblade]

im 31 look 24 and feel 40 and i still do a handfull of the items in the list especially item 26 - air drum.


teka lang baket not past the age of 1 to:
- Go willingly into the arms of strangers.

alam ko meron pa din dito sa tsikot gumagawa nyan eh. of course meron pre-requisite yung stranger. ehehehehe

[BlueBimmer]

we'll see, i got 3-4yrs to go :D

[wren]

Go willingly into the arms of strangers.

depende naman sa stranger yan. :naughty2:

[Flagg]

depende naman sa stranger yan. :naughty2:

^ Come to Butthead... :frenchyf1:

[redorange]

Things A Man Should Never Do Past 30

5. Name his "unit" his name plus junior.
Yeah be more creative save junior for your son.
8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
You won't believe how many morons have asked me this question.
18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
Dumb since most are preppies and don't know what the signs mean
22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.
What's wrong with the ties with the mouse in it?
26. Air drum.
But sometimes real drums are just inconvenient to bring
28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
Okay nobody eats an Oreo's in one bite, it's in the man handbook
35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.
Don't do this unless you're sure it's a "yes", nothing worst than a whole stadium watching you get dumped.
41. Purchase fireworks.
But they won't sell it to my daughter.
46. Organize a party bus.
I have co-workers that still do this for bachelor parties.
47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.
Better take the backboard and rim out of the trash can.
50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.
Have you ever tried home brewed beer? Nothing you buy can come close to it's taste.
53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.
It's usually the same moron who ask me if I have ever shot my gun.
57. Own a vanity plate.
Nothing wrong with vanity plates.

[SIZE="4"]Things A Man Should Never Do Past The Age of One[/SIZE]

By Jasper Jacobs, age 17 months

Get circumcised.
Getting this done immediately after birth is a western concept and a recent one for Pinoy's. I bet if you do a poll here most will tell you they had it done in their preteen days, specially for the guys over 30.
Go willingly into the arms of strangers.
How hot is the stranger?

[dxx_ddf]

ang magsolo sa bahay.. tsk tsk.. kakasira ng ulo.. wawa si mary palmer..