Hey guys, here's some advice

[doriftospeed]

Hey guys, here's some advice

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. Or, if she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this four or five times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things... they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them because jewelry is for pussies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "**** you," and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

9. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

10. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

11. If you care about her never, ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

12. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

13. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. Not a ***y cologne smell, but a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

14. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

15. If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her "no." This way she'll think you're mysterious.

16. Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

17. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny.

18. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call.

19. Next time you are having ***, make sure you get off before she does, then get off her and leave. Girls love that.

[GlennSter]

huh? you call that advice? i hope you are kidding bro.

[doriftospeed]

huh? you call that advice? i hope you are kidding bro.

No, Im serious

From your advice it sounds like you're single w/o a girlfriend. LOL Honestly though I read this some place before you posted it here.

au contraire, lol. but i get the joke

[Jun aka Pekto]

What's the advice for, again?

[redorange]

From your advice it sounds like you're single w/o a girlfriend. LOL Honestly though I read this some place before you posted it here.

[nugundam93]

my ex loved #14. no kidding.

[doriftospeed]

my ex loved #14. no kidding.

i hope she's not you're "ex" because of #14. hehe

[nugundam93]

i hope she's not you're "ex" because of #14. hehe

:lol: thankfully di naman. we just didn't have time for each other na when we both worked (day shift siya or close to that, graveyard shift naman ako), so we parted ways.

[n2knee]

Hey guys, here's some advice

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. Or, if she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this four or five times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things... they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them because jewelry is for pussies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "**** you," and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

9. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

10. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

11. If you care about her never, ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

12. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

13. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. Not a ***y cologne smell, but a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

14. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

15. If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her "no." This way she'll think you're mysterious.

16. Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

17. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny.

18. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call.

19. Next time you are having ***, make sure you get off before she does, then get off her and leave. Girls love that.

:lol: :lol:

[oldblue]

#16 sounds like a parable

[ARB]

advice how to make your current GF or wife to be your ex!

[Chip]

galing ata to sa The Man Show
lol

[bajumbo]

Hmm is this from the movie How to loose a gal in 10 days???

[skyglider]

wala kang makukuhang gf/asawa pag ganyan ka. woman loves to be pampered and loved... as men do...

[doriftospeed]

wala kang makukuhang gf/asawa pag ganyan ka. woman loves to be pampered and loved... as men do...

dude, ever heard of the word "sarcasm"?

galing ata to sa The Man Show

Just got it sa ibang forum, Thought it was funny.


**Note to People na hindi makuha humor
[SIZE=4]DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!!!!![/SIZE] lol
kung hindi niyo pa rin makuha...It's a joke.
and if you still dont get it... i give up. hehe

[wren]

sadly enough, there are women out there who has little or no self esteem that they let their men walk all over them as if they enjoy being a doormat. i get the joke though...

[mazdamazda]

some advices...

TO GET DUMPED!

[BlueBimmer]

hehe advices for the guy who doesnt love his gf anymore..

[nicolodeon]

If the advice is serious, my two cents:

I've been married for 10 years (went steady for 3 years with my wife before we got married), had an American girlfriend for 2 years before I met my wife - and I tell you (from experience) that 100% of this advice is BS and would not contribute to a meaningful relationship.

To be brutally frank, following any of these is like treating your partner as crap.

...but if the advice is meant as a joke:

I get it but I don't find it funny. It's still degrading towards women. I'm sorry but that's how I see it.

Guys, IMHO you should take the advice as what not to do with your lady..

[cutedoc]

the odd thing about it, it may be something that your girl would not what as you though she will be but opn second thought, she might like the idea of doriftospeeds "what to do"

some girls has their dark side as well, giving them your shirt with the "kargador" scent arouses them, it makes them feel secure that youre just there, your macho, your a bruzco guy that would bang her anytime now.

being introduced as a hot chick or a lover entices her in a way=)

#16 and 17, make sense...

overall, you could try to experiment the ideas given to your girl, for a change=)