Living with My Family while Raising my own Family

[marktams86]

Ang hirap pala talaga maki tira sa parents mo when you're raising your family as well.. Such a tough balancing act to accomplish.. You do not know when to be the good son/ brother of your parents and siblings or the strong father and husband for your wife/daughter. I feel like i'm becoming distant to my family kahit nasa isang bahay lang kami at parang kulang lagin yung time ko sa wife and daughter ko.

Any advise on how I could get through this situation?

Sana kumita pa nang mas malaki so we can afford our own house na talaga. Hirap din kasi mag rent parang balewala yung hinuhulog mo monthly.

[1D4LV]

hwag mo na isipin yung rent expense mo, ganun talaga yun.

it will make you more comfortable, your wife more comfortable and your kids growing up not spoiled if you move out.
hindi ka maka decision ng maayos nyan, yung wife mo, hirap makisama pag andun kayo in one roof.

everybody does or went through it.

ako before, we rented for three years before we got our own house..... ok lang yung nawala na rent expenses, mababawi mo rin naman yun. kaya hwag manghinayang.

[marktams86]

hwag mo na isipin yung rent expense mo, ganun talaga yun.

it will make you more comfortable, your wife more comfortable and your kids growing up not spoiled if you move out.
hindi ka maka decision ng maayos nyan, yung wife mo, hirap makisama pag andun kayo in one roof.

everybody does or went through it.

ako before, we rented for three years before we got our own house..... ok lang yung nawala na rent expenses, mababawi mo rin naman yun. kaya hwag manghinayang.

thanks for your inputs sir.. sana nga lang we could also afford to rent.. eh ngayon pa nga lang lagi pa rin kami nabibitin sa budget what more kung kami na lahat magbayad, meralco, water, etc... haay buhay...

[1D4LV]

thanks for your inputs sir.. sana nga lang we could also afford to rent.. eh ngayon pa nga lang lagi pa rin kami nabibitin sa budget what more kung kami na lahat magbayad, meralco, water, etc... haay buhay...

adjust lang sa ibang gastos like kain sa labas, etc.
get even a small space.... maski 2 bedrooms lang.....
kami dati, net pay namin is 7k/month lang, combined.
we still managed to rent out a space at 3k/month.
4k was left to spend for expenses like electricity, water and food.
ni mcdonalds nga nun, hindi kami makakain eh.

[marktams86]

Wow... ang galing nun ah... talagang sakripisyo lang... quite inspiring sir...

[Retz]

yan nga unang adivse ng cefam (center of family ministries in ateneo) during marriage counselling, stay away from your parents/biyenan after you get married.

[skybison]

well, in the first place bakit ka nagpamilya na hindi mo pa kaya?

moving forward, that's your risk living with your parents/siblings. Like 1D4LV said hindi talaga kayo makakilos ng maayos magasawa/pamilya nyan. Tiis talaga at matuto mabuhay within your means.

We rented a condo(small/1bedroom) weeks before we got married, after a year naglipat kme sa mas malaki na apartment(2br), then ngayon after two years nakapagipon na pangdown ng sariling bahay. Tumaas kasi ang rent and nasasayangan na kme (hindi na kaya ipikitmata).

Life is all about choices.

[mateomarco]

adjust lang sa ibang gastos like kain sa labas, etc.
get even a small space.... maski 2 bedrooms lang.....
kami dati, net pay namin is 7k/month lang, combined.
we still managed to rent out a space at 3k/month.
4k was left to spend for expenses like electricity, water and food.
ni mcdonalds nga nun, hindi kami makakain eh.

Just to inspire further, how are you doing now financially?

[d'flash]

Just to inspire further, how are you doing now financially?

mayaman na yan si sir 1D4LV

[1D4LV]

Just to inspire further, how are you doing now financially?

hehehehe. secret....ayoko atang ilabas ang buhay and properties ko dito..... hehehehehehe.

pero to share how we started.

we are renting a place (two bedroom apartment) a month before we got married, the night after our wedding, we moved in to a place na hindi kagandahan, no furnitures. the only thing i got is my TV na black and white na nawawala ang picture pag climax na nung movie na pinanonood ko an electric fan and a radio. we used to eat sa hagdan because we do not have a dining table. ang lungkot nga namin nung first week namin ni misis dun, dahil naninibago kami sa place.. i grew up in a prestigous village sa south, while si misis, lumaki sa prestigous village sa QC.

pundar muna kami ng kasangkapan the next two years (una-una lang). inuna namin ang kama dahil mahirap matulog sa papag, tapos dining table, tapos TV, tapos yung iba na, and nakakuha ako ng sarili naming bahay after five years which we still live the past 15 years.

after namin nakakuha ng bahay, nagipon pa kami ng mga two years pa then nakabili ako ng second hand lancer singkit dahil binenta ko din yung oto ko nung binata ako para gastusin sa kasal dahil hindi din ako humingi sa parents ko.

then the rest is history.

but proud to say, hindi kami humingi ng maski singko sa parents namin.... kung meron man silang ibibigay, tangapin, pero hindi kami humingi.... lahat ay pinaghirapan.

remember, everything has to start of from scratch so you'll appreciate the hardwork, the money and your relationship with your wife.

budget? lahat sa amin nakalista, hanggang ngayon. we save 15% from our semi-monthly pay and leave the rest sa expenses.... zero liabilities kami dahil we don't use loans and we don't use credit cards, lahat cash basis. we have a target of a certain amount (e.g. Php 150,000.00), tapos pag naabot namin yun, nililipat namin sa higher yielding investments and start to build up the savings fund again.. paulit ulit lang.

pero, hindi kami tikis.... we still eat out every weekends, go out on vacation every summer, buy necessities lang (e.g. shoes, clothes, etc..) hindi kami bumibili ng hindi kailangan so walang excess junk sa bahay.... lahat ginagamit.... yung mga kinalakihan o kinaliitang damit, we give to charity para walang wastage.

[dh0n]

same situation here TS...ipon pa ng konti kuha ng hulugang bahay,buy basic appliance...kwentahin ang income minus ang gastos,kung may sobra pa makakaraos at makakaraos din naman...talk to your wife, plan ahead...

e.g.
o ganito income natin
magkano ang panghulog sa bahay?
magkano pangbayad kuryente,at tubig?
magkano para sa pagkain,grocery sa 1month?
magkano allowance/baon ninyong magasawa sa pagtrabaho?
magkano sustento mo sa magulang mo at niya?-----optional baka kaya na ng magulang kahit walang ibigay...,
magkano ang gastos para sa bata?gatas,diaper,tubig,immunization,school?
magkano ang pwedeng gastusin para sa ibang pangagailangan damit,gadgets,load,cable,internet,fuel,car maintenance,car registration....

bawas luho lang sir kung kaya mo at ni missis(dapat both will agree kung ano ang possibleng maging buhay nyo)...kung hindi wag ng subukan baka pagmulan pa ng away at mauwi sa hiwalayan....

marami akong kilala nasa 15k net ang income with one child kinakayang mabuhay na nakasarili...sa provine nga lang(pampanga)

[CVT]

Ang hirap pala talaga maki tira sa parents mo when you're raising your family as well.. Such a tough balancing act to accomplish.. You do not know when to be the good son/ brother of your parents and siblings or the strong father and husband for your wife/daughter. I feel like i'm becoming distant to my family kahit nasa isang bahay lang kami at parang kulang lagin yung time ko sa wife and daughter ko.

Any advise on how I could get through this situation?

Sana kumita pa nang mas malaki so we can afford our own house na talaga. Hirap din kasi mag rent parang balewala yung hinuhulog mo monthly.

Honeymoon?- it only lasts for 3 months...

After that giyera na!!!...

Seriously, if you can help it, move out bro.

18.4K:sun:

[c_cube]

Sabi nga eh mahirap pag dalawa na ang reyna sa isang tahanan.

Pero may mga case naman na nagkakasundo lahat kahit magkakasama.

Kaya tingin ko nasa tao din yan. Pero iba parin pag sarili mo ang bahay kahit maliit lang ito

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[jansky]

mahirap tlaga pag ang inuuwiang bahay eh iisa pintuan at lutuan ng dalawang reyna..
the best is humiwalay sa magulang sa una lang mahirap pero pag tumagal mas lalong humihirap hehehe.. just kidding

pag humiwalay kasi sa magulang dyan mo mararanasan na kailangang kumayod kasi wala tutulong sayo kung hindi sarili m lang

unless na pinanganak kang may ginto sa bibig

[beni23]

I remember when I was a kid and we were still living at my grandparent's house, we were bullied, they would not even let us use the faucet and we would resort to the "bomba" or igiban to take a bath, wash our clothes, even drink it. Now things have changed and all I can say, angkakapal ng mga mukha nila especially dito sa tiyahin ko na kasama ko ngayon dito sa Mla. Lagi kaming magkaaway nito, the most recent was nung kahapon lang na isa. Sa sobrang galit ko binuhat ko yung cardio bike ko at itinapon ko papunta sakanya, muntik na siya matamaan, ayun warak. Gastos na naman.

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[boytsiks]

^

Yeah, ang galing nang lakas loob at disiplina nila.. kahit papaano na enlighten naman ako...parang lumkas din ang loob ko...

I was in the same situation like you TS several years ago. I got married at an early age. We stayed with my in laws for awhile. After makaipon, we applied for a loan for our own house. Kahit medyo pilit at mahirap, tinuloy namin. Ubos lahat ng savings because we need to purchase everything we need for the house.

There are times di kami bumili ng personal stuffs because kelangan mag ipon pa ulit. Sabi nga ng iba, bakit palaging luma ang suot namin. But we didnt care. Nasa adjustment stage pa kami. Wala man kaming latest gadgets or nakakapunta sa "in" na lugar, at least we have a place we call our own.

Its just a matter of setting your priorities TS. Kung gusto mo nasa uso ka but nakikitira or wala kang bago pero may sarili ka. Thinking about the future, I chose the latter.

Good luck ts

[marktams86]

I was in the same situation like you TS several years ago. I got married at an early age. We stayed with my in laws for awhile. After makaipon, we applied for a loan for our own house. Kahit medyo pilit at mahirap, tinuloy namin. Ubos lahat ng savings because we need to purchase everything we need for the house.

There are times di kami bumili ng personal stuffs because kelangan mag ipon pa ulit. Sabi nga ng iba, bakit palaging luma ang suot namin. But we didnt care. Nasa adjustment stage pa kami. Wala man kaming latest gadgets or nakakapunta sa "in" na lugar, at least we have a place we call our own.

Its just a matter of setting your priorities TS. Kung gusto mo nasa uso ka but nakikitira or wala kang bago pero may sarili ka. Thinking about the future, I chose the latter.

Good luck ts

thank you very much sir...

[marky0910]

Sakin nung kinasal kami ni misis, bumukod din kami kagad, sugal-sugal na, kahit onti ang pera, basta makabukod lang.

IMHO, kaya marami pa rin hindi bumubukod kase laging nasa isip natin na sayang ang rent. lagi ko naririnig yung sinasabi na pagkabayad mo may utang ka nanaman. Para sakin, ok lang naman yung ganun, lalo na kung wala pa kayong anak, knock on wood, kung bumili ka ng bahay, at di kayo magka anak, kanino mo ipapamana yung bahay mo pag na deads na kayong mag asawa diba? sa mga swerteng pamangkin? hehe. maling mindset kase eh, ganun din naman pag bumili ka ng bahay eh, 20 yrs loan term? pag bayad mo may utang ka pa rin. hehe

Ok lang na umupa, wag lang malimutan mag ipon, para kung makaipon in lets say 3-5 yrs, malaki ang down sa bahay tapos shorter term loan, mas malaki ang tipid compared to 20 yrs na payments dba.

Ngayon nagrerent kami, 350sqm na bungalow with 4 bedrooms, garage at may malaking garden sa likod, 15k a month, ikumpara mo sa nakabili ng bahay na 50sqm lot area tapos 50sqm ang floor area, monthly payment na 30k pataas, tapos sa cavite or laguna pa, feeling ko mas maluwang naman kaming nakakahinga. in 5 yrs may pambayad na ko ng house and lot na cash (lalo na pag pumutok yung condominium bubble natin ngayon dito sa metro manila).

[brainmafia_310]

Ako same scenario with TS last year. Awa po ng diyos, dasal dasal, at todo disciplina sa sarili. bawas ng gastos makakaahon din.

That experience will surely change your outlook in life. Although di ko pa tapos baydan yung ibang nagastos ko nun binata at dalaga pa kami ni wifey.

Rent? ok lang yan wag lang masyado mataas dahil max is 10k siguro a month (pero ako half alng nyan other wise lilipat na ako pagtumass pa dyan).

Kasi dami pa naman posibilities sa career nyo both, di ba so at this stage IMHO di pa important yung permanent house like me baka may opportunity other than alabang say QC, kung bibili ako house sa cavite (current rented place ko near my parents house) malilimithan yung career opportunity ko.

Ika nga kanya kanyang diskarte at strategy yan. hehehehe.

[marktams86]

Ako same scenario with TS last year. Awa po ng diyos, dasal dasal, at todo disciplina sa sarili. bawas ng gastos makakaahon din.

That experience will surely change your outlook in life. Although di ko pa tapos baydan yung ibang nagastos ko nun binata at dalaga pa kami ni wifey.

Rent? ok lang yan wag lang masyado mataas dahil max is 10k siguro a month (pero ako half alng nyan other wise lilipat na ako pagtumass pa dyan).

Kasi dami pa naman posibilities sa career nyo both, di ba so at this stage IMHO di pa important yung permanent house like me baka may opportunity other than alabang say QC, kung bibili ako house sa cavite (current rented place ko near my parents house) malilimithan yung career opportunity ko.

Ika nga kanya kanyang diskarte at strategy yan. hehehehe.

kami naman.. ipon2x muna tlaga siguro... gusto na ni mrs. kasi talaga kahit condo lang daw basta makabukod... pero you raised good points on renting and saving at the same time, at least may sarili at makakapag ipon na nang cash for your own house...