How to get over work phobia

[_Cathy_]

I know that I may get violent reactions from this post but I just need some suggestions from you guys.

I used to look forward to going to work. I loved my job, boss and officemates. It was like that for 3 1/2 years until I got transferred to another dept where the work was horrible and the boss was doubly horrible. I lasted less than a year coz I couldn't take it anymore. I'd cry in the ladies room every morning and it got to the point that I was getting sick almost every week. My frustration with my job was having physical manifestations already (BTW our whole team ended up being wiped out because of that boss. I was just the first one to leave). I told my Mom about my problem and I proposed that I'll take some time off work and take graduate studies instead. I promised her that I'll get a job as soon as I graduate. It took me 3 years to finish and now I'm done. I'm really lucky that my Mommy supported me totally in those 3 years and she paid for my studies. She said that my only job was to get good grades and find a good job after.

Now that I am done my Mom is expecting that I'd have work by now. I am actually embarrassed because I've been a PALAMUNIN for 3 years since I resigned. The problem is I've been out of the corporate world for 3 years and this hiatus I discovered is already paralyzing me with fear. Fear that I won't get a job. Fear of rejection. Fear of having a bad boss. Fear of having to put up with office politics. I also hate the thought of getting up at 5:30 in the morning.(I used to be a morning person) It seems like I've lost my enthusiasm for working. The only reason why I am looking for a job right now is because I am ashamed with my Mom na for being a PAL. hehe.

For those who are working, where do you get your enthusiasm? I need your replies badly because I'm slowly falling into depression.

[redorange]

Wow I wish I had that option to just resign when I don't like my boss or are tired of my job. Unfortunately I have responsibilities such as feeding and educating my daughter and caring for my mother. Not to sound heartless but I get the impression that a lot of the younger pinoys in the Philippines have that mentality of resigning if they don't like the job or boss. Is it because you can run to mom and dad for support until you find a job? For a country with a so called unemployment problem there is that mentality of resigning with the younger generation. Why? I have nephews and nieces who have done exactly what you did when they didn't like the boss even if there was no other job lined up and let mom and dad support them.

Do your parents a favor, get over it and get a job. Life isn't fair, it isn't always nice. Sometimes you actually have to deal with people you can't get along with but you only have to work with them not marry them so don't let your fear paralyze you.

[v6dreamer]

You are not alone.
First, you are lucky enought to have a parent's supporting values.
Your problem often have more than one solution, problem-solving usually requires you to decide on the correct solution. Do not recognize a direct relationship in your present problem you need to solve your previous experience. Are you familiar in trial and error method to solve fairly simple problems that do not really involve much thingking? However, prior experience may also hinder your ability to solve a problem by finding a fresh, imaginative, and immediate solution. Go out there and interact, visualized your time and energy na kaya mo yan. Kaya mo yan, kaya mo yan, kaya mo yan, kaya mo yan. Hep! hep! horry!

[combustion95]

For me, I get my enthusiasm towards work through family, (wife, kids etc.). By the time I finished college, I started looking for a job right away even OJT position that's available in the company. I just asked my parents if they can afford my review classes for the board exam. When I passed my board and got my license, I didn't look back. I have a boss before and until now who's always shouting even just for a simple task given to me. I just regard it as part of my salary being shouted (kahit masakit sa dibdib). If you don't like boss find another job, but don't cut the bridge until you have crossed the other end of line. Cheers! Find a job NOW.

[_Cathy_]

I have a boss before and until now who's always shouting even just for a simple task given to me. I just regard it as part of my salary being shouted (kahit masakit sa dibdib).

That's nice thinking Yung last boss ko masakit talaga magsalita saka kung magutos nakaka degrade. Of course I don't show her that I get affected pero ang totoo sa car pa lang on my way to work e umiiyak na ko. hehe.

I feel that shouting at a subordinate is very unprofessional. We could always say things in a more civil manner naman. My first boss was very professional. Never raised her voice on any of us. I miss her so much. Sana lahat ng boss kasing bait niya.

I really can't stand people that are hot headed, sigaw ng sigaw at mura ng mura.

[Galactus]

Where do I get my entusiasm for working? Simple. I have a lot of debts/bills to pay. And it would be more boring if I were jobless.

Honestly, being unemployed is not an option right now. Although there have been a few occasions when I find my work monotonous, I summon extra energy to get me going. Sometimes, I think that subconsciously, I purchase big-ticket items mainly to serve as inspiration for me to keep working. Kasi, pag nawalan ako ng trabaho, mawawala lahat ng naipundar ko.

[_Cathy_]

I purchase big-ticket items mainly to serve as inspiration for me to keep working. Kasi, pag nawalan ako ng trabaho, mawawala lahat ng naipundar ko.

^^^ That is one thing that I should have done.

Mahina kasi loob ko with loans. I was able to leave my last job right away because I had no loans or debt whatsoever. My best friend kept on telling me to get a loan so I could purchase something really big (like a car) that would remind me everyday of the "fruits of my labor" plus it's gonna keep me from leaving my job. I'm scared kasi that if I suddenly die, I do not want my parents to be burdened with the responsibility of paying off whatever debt that I have. I guess I'd just have to increase my insurance when I do get a job to cover for whatever loans that I will get in the future.

[ghosthunter]

^^^ That is one thing that I should have done.

Mahina kasi loob ko with loans. I was able to leave my last job right away because I had no loans or debt whatsoever. My best friend kept on telling me to get a loan so I could purchase something really big (like a car) that would remind me everyday of the "fruits of my labor" plus it's gonna keep me from leaving my job. I'm scared kasi that if I suddenly die, I do not want my parents to be burdened with the responsibility of paying off whatever debt that I have. I guess I'd just have to increase my insurance when I do get a job to cover for whatever loans that I will get in the future.

Personally I hate having the idea that I owe someone money. Even when I purchased something on my credit card using 12/18/24 months to pay, I don't feel at ease. I would prefer to be able to pay it off 100% asap. Of course big ticket items like a car would require some financing and often its best to pay such items through some degree of financing as well.

[_Cathy_]

Personally I hate having the idea that I owe someone money. Even when I purchased something on my credit card using 12/18/24 months to pay, I don't feel at ease. I would prefer to be able to pay it off 100% asap. Of course big ticket items like a car would require some financing and often its best to pay such items through some degree of financing as well.

Yeah me too. I always pay my credit card on full. I won't give the banks a chance to make money off of me on interest. hehe. Although sometimes I feel guilty 'coz I also get rebates from my card so in effect what I pay for the Annual fee gets offset.

[uls]

there's more to life than just forcing yourself to go to work coz u have to pay off loans.

"I owe, i owe, so off to work i go" the bumper sticker goes....

Enjoying what u do should be the motivation.

Miss Cathy, i you're afraid of working for someone, then start your own business.

So u wont be ordered around.

ikaw ang boss.

[_Cathy_]

5 years pass by so quickly! It feels good to look back and see that I was able to overcome my work phobia. I've been with the same company since I finished grad school (4 years) and the problem is I've lost my enthusiasm for work already. I feel very lucky that I love my job, my boss and my coworkers. My boss and coworkers make me look forward to going to the office. However, I am now very unhappy with my salary. I have a lot of friends that moved to other companies is order to increase their salary. Our company is currently cost cutting and the increase and bonus that we had for this year is extremely disappointing. We predict that it will only get worse. In the end our salaries will not reflect our real market value.

My dilemma is if a higher salary is worth having the risk of having a bad job, boss and coworkers? My boss is really really great. He's the type who would never pass on the blame to his staff, he gives more than enough time for reports, he never lets me report for work on a holiday, he sometimes does my work pa :inlove: My coworkers are very nice to me too, parati ako pinagbibigyan Also, all the difficult people at work are gone na and I am surrounded by people that are good to me My workload is not heavy so I still have time to do other things. Everything is perfect except for the salary.

Would you take the risk?

[ab_initio]

^^^ That is one thing that I should have done.

I'm scared kasi that if I suddenly die, I do not want my parents to be burdened with the responsibility of paying off whatever debt that I have. I guess I'd just have to increase my insurance when I do get a job to cover for whatever loans that I will get in the future.

this is not true...when you die, the creditors would go after your estate...anything not covered by your estate dies with you.

even in some housing loans, the amortizations just go with you six feet under. just try to look for this term. the house and lot, forms part of your estate when you die but the lending institution doesn't have to take this back coz death automatically makes the prop a part of your estate.

[ghosthunter]

Now that I am done my Mom is expecting that I'd have work by now. I am actually embarrassed because I've been a PALAMUNIN for 3 years since I resigned. The problem is I've been out of the corporate world for 3 years and this hiatus I discovered is already paralyzing me with fear. Fear that I won't get a job. Fear of rejection. Fear of having a bad boss. Fear of having to put up with office politics. I also hate the thought of getting up at 5:30 in the morning.(I used to be a morning person) It seems like I've lost my enthusiasm for working. The only reason why I am looking for a job right now is because I am ashamed with my Mom na for being a PAL. hehe.

For those who are working, where do you get your enthusiasm? I need your replies badly because I'm slowly falling into depression.

Having been out of work for so long simply made you lazy. I went through a time (six months) of no work after I resigned from my job because I got burned out. Too many overtimes, too many deadlines, too many demands for results.

When I got to applying for a new job, it was really a mental struggle to break away from the laziness and the fear of a new job. Only way is to get your chin up and "put up a brave face". Look for a job you would like. Make use of the job interview to get a feel of the company. Try to ask the current staff about the work and about the boss.

If all else fails, you could always go out on a date with me.

[froshie1]

I know that I may get violent reactions from this post but I just need some suggestions from you guys.

I used to look forward to going to work. I loved my job, boss and officemates. It was like that for 3 1/2 years until I got transferred to another dept where the work was horrible and the boss was doubly horrible. I lasted less than a year coz I couldn't take it anymore. I'd cry in the ladies room every morning and it got to the point that I was getting sick almost every week. My frustration with my job was having physical manifestations already (BTW our whole team ended up being wiped out because of that boss. I was just the first one to leave). I told my Mom about my problem and I proposed that I'll take some time off work and take graduate studies instead. I promised her that I'll get a job as soon as I graduate. It took me 3 years to finish and now I'm done. I'm really lucky that my Mommy supported me totally in those 3 years and she paid for my studies. She said that my only job was to get good grades and find a good job after.

Now that I am done my Mom is expecting that I'd have work by now. I am actually embarrassed because I've been a PALAMUNIN for 3 years since I resigned. The problem is I've been out of the corporate world for 3 years and this hiatus I discovered is already paralyzing me with fear. Fear that I won't get a job. Fear of rejection. Fear of having a bad boss. Fear of having to put up with office politics. I also hate the thought of getting up at 5:30 in the morning.(I used to be a morning person) It seems like I've lost my enthusiasm for working. The only reason why I am looking for a job right now is because I am ashamed with my Mom na for being a PAL. hehe.

For those who are working, where do you get your enthusiasm? I need your replies badly because I'm slowly falling into depression.

My family motivates me to work.

The next time that you feel bad about working just thing that it's worst to be hungry and not to have money at all :-)

Actually Cathy kahit saan ka naman pumunta may mga Ms. Tapia diyan, hangga't empleyado tayo ganyan ang haharapin natin lahat.

[badsekktor]

you are one lucky girl...... try to live by yourself and you would surely be motivated. do not wait until you dont have somebody to fall back to.....

[stickers]

Almost same situation, except the boss. She's quite a pain in the ass. Would be better if she'll kick me out and pay me what i'm due.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

[EQAddict]

Everything is on a silver platter and you still find a reason to refuse it? I find that really sad Cathy.

Other people will literally die for the opportunities that you have thrown your way. Maybe you should follow your instincts and resign. Maybe it will Only be then that you realize what you had and have lost. And that may be a force that will galvanize you to be better in the future. You're in serious self destruct mode now.

Posted via Tsikot Mobile App

[_Cathy_]

Natatakot ka lang na umalis sa comfort zone mo dahil another level nanaman eto para syo. Stay Calm - Chill...

That's true. I hate leaving my comfort zone.

Everything is on a silver platter and you still find a reason to refuse it? I find that really sad Cathy.

Other people will literally die for the opportunities that you have thrown your way. Maybe you should follow your instincts and resign. Maybe it will Only be then that you realize what you had and have lost. And that may be a force that will galvanize you to be better in the future. You're in serious self destruct mode now.

Posted via Tsikot Mobile App

I am very confused too. I am thankful that I am surrounded with good family and friends and that I am given all sorts of opportunities. I see the effort of my family and friends to make me happy but I really do not understand why I feel so depressed. And yes, I feel like am slowly self destructing. I don't know what triggered this and how to stop it.

[Helios]

an ergophobe like you probably just needs a virtual hug if you want one rightaway

it's hard to look for heads and tails of such a weird behaviour, much less a cure for. so just don't.

try the kitchen. dudes like me bake homemade bread for starters. the dough between your fingers is therapeutic

own a pet most appropriate to your 'demeanour'. i suggest a jack russell. responsive and great for helping you deal with your anxieties

care for bonsai trees, they're good for a luck and a buck

go on a gap year and post here what you discover out there. expand your horizon and see the bigger picture

and stop talking to retz -just kidding

[EQAddict]

I agree with Helios's post.

But you can see a doctor as well. You could be clinically depressed. Thats not your fault. Thats just the way your physiology is. There is real therapy for that. And theres nothing to be ashamed of.

The important thing is... You must try.


Posted via Tsikot Mobile App