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  1. Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    5,494
    #3731
    MAKING A BABY.

    The Patels were unable to conceive children and they decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

    On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Patel kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

    'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

    'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Patel cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

    'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

    'Well, that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.'

    After a moment, she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

    'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

    'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

    'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

    'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Patel.

    'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

    'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Patel quietly.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

    'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

    'Oh, my Gosh!' Mrs. Patel exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

    'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

    'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Patel.

    'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

    'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Patel, her eyes wide with amazement.

    'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And! for more than three hours, too.”

    “The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

    Mrs. Patel leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

    'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

    'Tripod?'

    'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

    Mrs. Patel fainted!!!

    Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

  2. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,566
    #3732

  3. Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Posts
    1,748
    #3733
    Quote Originally Posted by Monseratto View Post
    🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk

  4. Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    11,687
    #3734



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  5. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    10,594
    #3735
    Quote Originally Posted by cast_no_shadow View Post



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Nice one!

    Sent from my SM-N950F using Tapatalk

  6. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,566
    #3736

  7. Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    2,448
    #3737
    Quote Originally Posted by Monseratto View Post
    Very funny! I never realized that I also do this until now.

  8. Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    45,833
    #3738
    Anything my fat lab does is entertaining for me. I love watching her eat

    Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk

  9. Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,185
    #3739
    matagal na pla nagmerge Grab and Uber - si bitoy pa pioneer hehe

    https://youtu.be/6Y75n_kqqz0

  10. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,566
    #3740
    Reason why buy a stick shift....




Joke Time!