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  1. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,586
    #3281

  2. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,586
    #3282

  3. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,586
    #3283


    caption this...

  4. Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    454
    #3284
    Quote Originally Posted by robgowild View Post
    GLORIA AND MIKEE

    GLORIA:ANAK PAG NAMATAY AKO HINDI R.I.P ANG ILALAGAY MO HA.,.,
    MIKEE:ANU NGAY MAMA?
    GLORIA:ANG GUSTO KUNG ILAGAY MO “JESUS”.
    MIKEE:ANUNG JESUS?
    GLORIA:-JOSEPH -ESTRADA -SEE -YOU -SOON
    MIKEE:WHHHAAAAAAAT?MAS MAGANDA PAG “BAYAN”!
    GLORIA:ANUNG “BAYAN:?
    MIKEE:-BENIGNO -AQUINO -YOU -ARE -NEXT!!!
    GLORIA:WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!111



    Erap speaks to Jojo Binay

    ERAP – Jojo, alam mo marami tayong similarities sa ating mga buhay:

    Naging Mayor ako – naging Mayor ka rin,

    Anak ko naging senador – anak mo naging sinadora rin,

    Asawa ko doctora, asawa mo doctora rin,

    Naging Vice President ako, naging Vice President ka rin.

    Nakulong ako, …….
    lol di kaya magiging president pa yan bago makulong?

  5. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,346
    #3285
    Then ma-pardon din & maging mayor ulit ng makati.

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    10,783
    #3286
    Quote Originally Posted by Monseratto View Post


    caption this...
    mag bottle ka muna ha mamaya na sa bahay kita padede.

  7. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,868
    #3287
    ^ eto na order mong DeDe. :hysterical:

  8. Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1,160
    #3288
    10942747_1001566916539648_7190666946213337585_n.jpg
    ayos!

  9. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,586
    #3289
    Surrogate Baby Photographer...


    After a long period of trying, The Jones found out they were unable to conceive children. So they decided to use a surrogate father to start their new family. It was Friday and the proxy father was scheduled to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now. The guy should be here soon.”

    About fifteen minutes later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

    “Good Afternoon”, he said, “I’ve come to…”

    “Oh, no need for you to explain sir,” Mrs. Jones cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.”

    “Oh really?” said the photographer. “Well, that’s great! Did you know babies are my specialty?”

    “Well that’s what my husband John and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat on the couch”

    After a few moments of silence she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”

    “Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”

    “Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for John and me!”

    “Well, I’m sorry Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”
    “My, that’s a lot!” gasped Mrs. Jones.

    “In my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”

    “Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Jones quietly.

    The photographer opened his bag and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a school bus,” he said.

    “Oh my Goodness!” Mrs. Jones exclaimed.

    “And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider the mom was annoying and difficult to work with.”

    “She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Jones.

    “Yes, Ma’am. I finally had to take her to the playground to get the job done right. People were crowding around five and six deep to get a good look.”

    “Five and six deep?” said Mrs. Jones, her eyes wide as they can be.

    “Yes”, the photographer replied. “And It was for more than two hours, too. The mom was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.”

    Mrs. Jones leaned forward. “WHAT? Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um… equipment?”

    “OMG!, yes… Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.”

    “Tripod?!?!?!”

    “Ummmm yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too heavy to be held in the hand very long.”

    With that, Mrs. Jones fainted.

  10. Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    341
    #3290
    Quote Originally Posted by Monseratto View Post
    Surrogate Baby Photographer...


    After a long period of trying, The Jones found out they were unable to conceive children. So they decided to use a surrogate father to start their new family. It was Friday and the proxy father was scheduled to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now. The guy should be here soon.”

    About fifteen minutes later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

    “Good Afternoon”, he said, “I’ve come to…”

    “Oh, no need for you to explain sir,” Mrs. Jones cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.”

    “Oh really?” said the photographer. “Well, that’s great! Did you know babies are my specialty?”

    “Well that’s what my husband John and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat on the couch”

    After a few moments of silence she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”

    “Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”

    “Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for John and me!”

    “Well, I’m sorry Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”
    “My, that’s a lot!” gasped Mrs. Jones.

    “In my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”

    “Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Jones quietly.

    The photographer opened his bag and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a school bus,” he said.

    “Oh my Goodness!” Mrs. Jones exclaimed.

    “And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider the mom was annoying and difficult to work with.”

    “She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Jones.

    “Yes, Ma’am. I finally had to take her to the playground to get the job done right. People were crowding around five and six deep to get a good look.”

    “Five and six deep?” said Mrs. Jones, her eyes wide as they can be.

    “Yes”, the photographer replied. “And It was for more than two hours, too. The mom was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.”

    Mrs. Jones leaned forward. “WHAT? Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um… equipment?”

    “OMG!, yes… Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.”

    “Tripod?!?!?!”

    “Ummmm yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too heavy to be held in the hand very long.”

    With that, Mrs. Jones fainted.
    LOL. Akla **** ang gagawin.

Joke Time!