What Are You Thinking About?

**CVT** · July 12th, 2016 11:58 PM

Originally Posted by cast_no_shadow

Compromise.

For me/us we don't consider it stressful.

Buying a car is an experience lalo na for couples na hindi naman ganun kadalas bumili ng sasakyan since dalawa kayo who will use it.

Syempre dapat amenable kayo sa kukunin niyo.

To add financially factor din lalo na kung hindi ganun kaluwag ang budget. Mahirap magkasisihan in the end.

On our part i chose the brand, variant

She ended up choosing the color [emoji4]

In our case, I choose the brand, the model and the color.

She then chooses the AT.... 😉

**cast_no_shadow** · July 13th, 2016 12:02 AM

Originally Posted by CVT

She then chooses the AT.... [emoji6]

Haha wifey and I are on the same page on that [emoji16]

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**dr. d** · July 13th, 2016 12:03 AM

Originally Posted by _Cathy_

I've come across this "dilemma" several times at the board, but why do wives/GFs care about what car the husband/BF gets? I've read some situations where the woman gets involved down to the COLOR or accessories. I just don't get it.

I grew up in a household where my Dad decides all the car purchases. My Mom never gets herself involved, even in instances where the car was paid for by my Lola (maternal) so she definitely has a "say" if she wanted to. They give my Dad 100% trust that his decisions are correct.

When I was old enough, my family just gave me a budget and I decided everything too. I think it is stressful when purchasing a car and there are "too many cooks"

i don't know about the others, but i make the automotive decisions in our house.
my wife doesn't care what car we have. she is just happy that the car can get her from point to point B.

**jut703** · July 13th, 2016 12:27 AM

Originally Posted by _Cathy_

I've come across this "dilemma" several times at the board, but why do wives/GFs care about what car the husband/BF gets? I've read some situations where the woman gets involved down to the COLOR or accessories. I just don't get it.

I grew up in a household where my Dad decides all the car purchases. My Mom never gets herself involved, even in instances where the car was paid for by my Lola (maternal) so she definitely has a "say" if she wanted to. They give my Dad 100% trust that his decisions are correct.

When I was old enough, my family just gave me a budget and I decided everything too. I think it is stressful when purchasing a car and there are "too many cooks"

That's because your mom and grandmother probably don't know any better.

In the same way that I probably wouldn't bother disputing what my aunt/girlfriend thinks is the best course of treatment for a sick family member - they're the doctors and surely know inifinitely more than I do, and I trust that they're equally concerned.

Could also be that they couldn't care any less. I have absolutely no interest on what kitchen knives we buy at home, so I leave the decision to my sister.

Thing is, not all significant others are as detached in the decision-making process of buying a car. They need not be knowledgable with cars - if they're not feeling a certain brand or model, and you value their opinion, then you can take that into consideration for what your car choice will be.

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**_Cathy_** · July 13th, 2016 01:10 AM

Originally Posted by jut703

That's because your mom and grandmother probably don't know any better.

In the same way that I probably wouldn't bother disputing what my aunt/girlfriend thinks is the best course of treatment for a sick family member - they're the doctors and surely know inifinitely more than I do, and I trust that they're equally concerned.

Could also be that they couldn't care any less. I have absolutely no interest on what kitchen knives we buy at home, so I leave the decision to my sister.

Thing is, not all significant others are as detached in the decision-making process of buying a car. They need not be knowledgable with cars - if they're not feeling a certain brand or model, and you value their opinion, then you can take that into consideration for what your car choice will be.

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My mom and my Lola are not stupid and can involve themselves if they wanted to. What I don't get is why not let the man totally take control when it comes to cars? It's the same thing as the husband meddling with what bedsheets or curtains to use at home.

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**_Cathy_** · July 13th, 2016 01:11 AM

Originally Posted by dr. d

i don't know about the others, but i make the automotive decisions in our house.
my wife doesn't care what car we have. she is just happy that the car can get her from point to point B.

That's our family. And my Mom is perfectly happy with whatever my Dad chooses.

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**jut703** · July 13th, 2016 01:13 AM

Originally Posted by _Cathy_

Ummm my mom and my Lola are not stupid. They just know when to step back.

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Not saying that they are. Like I said, either they defer because they believe your dad knows better, or they just don't care as much.

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**jut703** · July 13th, 2016 01:13 AM

Originally Posted by _Cathy_

That's our family. And my Mom is perfectly happy with whatever my Dad chooses.

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Some moms aren't and would prefer to have a say in the decision making process.

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**_Cathy_** · July 13th, 2016 01:21 AM

Originally Posted by jut703

Not saying that they are. Like I said, either they defer because they believe your dad knows better, or they just don't care as much.

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Exactly. They trust my dad 100%. I don't understand women who meddle too much. It's like undermining the man. It just makes the decision making process harder.

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**jut703** · July 13th, 2016 01:35 AM

Originally Posted by _Cathy_

Exactly. They trust my dad 100%. I don't understand women who meddle too much. It's like undermining the man. It just makes the decision making process harder.

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Some families prefer to be consultative.

In our family, everyone can have a say about anything. Of course, if we don't know or don't care, we let someone else do the decision making.

But the traditional "This is dad's house" mentality doesn't hold for us. No, my dad doesn't feel undermined at all - he prefers to know what everyone thinks about a particular set of choices.

Yes, the drawback of an authoritarian approach vs a consultative one is that it can take longer to arrive at decisions, but it allows discourse that takes into consideration everyone's concerns and you usually end up with a broader perspective afterwards because you allow yourself to see the world from other people's points of view. You just have to know when to be consultative and when to make a decision quickly.

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