Backstabbers: What To Do With Them

[[r]ichkri3g]

My circle of "true" friends is small and I keep it small.

same here, but i commited probably the greatest mistake of my life by befriending them.

pag kami ng mga grade school, high school, & college buddies ko, we always talk about our problems with each other face to face. hindi yung puro backstabbing. we had our share of conflicts, but we peacefully settled it like real matured men.

wala din inggitan between us, heck 2 of my high school friends are now lawyers in a good law firm & im really proud since they're my friends. hindi kami naiinggit sa bawa't isa and we always treat each other as equals regardless of financial status.

naalala ko tuloy yung sabi ng mom ko dati na inggit ang pumamatay sa isang tao.

[[r]ichkri3g]

your "friends" are the type of people who run into all sorts of problems (financial, personal, emotional, ***ual, etc). hehehe

so just be happy and let them drop dead.

You'll just go mad dealing with losers like that.

come to think of it, they do have the problems that you mentioned...

one grew up with his lola, i think his parents passed away when he was still young.

one already had 3 wives, but he keeps on cheating from time to time.

two of them keep on whining about their financial difficulties.

one is kinda the type who you could call a loser when it comes to relationships, palipat-lipat kung kani-kaninong babae. in short, he can't make a relationship last.

one is a bonafide cheater, keeps on cheating on his wife. i personally know his wife, mabait naman kaya kawawa kasi niloloko siya ng husband niya.

[silver streak]

what to do with backstabbers? stab them upfront...deal with them directly, face-to-face.
or huwag mo na patulan, there will always be people who will not believe the bad things they say about you.

[Asus700]

papano kung ang backstabber eh boss at may ari ng companya? very unprofessional

ganyan sa amin, kung ano ano sinasabi nung mayari sa mga empleyado nya, particularly managers. pati personal na buhay dinadamay. kaya out of respect eh the people are just leaving. respect kasi the owner eh matanda na, 72 yrs old at sa tingin ko ay medyo senile na.

[moe]

your friends may have sad backgrounds and problems on the side but that doesn't mean that they should act that way. you could say they're compensating or they simply want to put you down. whatever the case is, i'd say you're better off without them. people who bring you nothing but misery are people who bring you nothing but misery. ask yourself if you can do without them. if yes, then drop them ASAP. i only have 4 true friends - my wife, my sister my mom and my dad. the others are mere acquaintances. am i lonely? nope. do i crave more friends? not at all.

[mbeige]

Not worth my time if you ask me. Inggit lang yan. You chose the wrong friends, simply put.

As long as it does not humiliate me, as long as they do not put me down in front of my true friends, and as long as they do not destroy my image to others, I'm perfectly fine leaving them in the dust. Once they cross that line, however, I could come up of several ways to get back, but that all depends on the situation.

Maybe give us more info? Hard to decide with so little info...

come to think of it, they do have the problems that you mentioned...

one grew up with his lola, i think his parents passed away when he was still young.

one already had 3 wives, but he keeps on cheating from time to time.

two of them keep on whining about their financial difficulties.

one is kinda the type who you could call a loser when it comes to relationships, palipat-lipat kung kani-kaninong babae. in short, he can't make a relationship last.

one is a bonafide cheater, keeps on cheating on his wife. i personally know his wife, mabait naman kaya kawawa kasi niloloko siya ng husband niya.

How did these people backstab you? If they had problems, I can understand but frankly, they should not use it against anybody and must learn to move on or fix their problem. That veteran/bonafide cheater - well we can't really stop people from doing what they really want, but you can protect his wife by telling her about her husband's affairs. If that "loser" can't make a relationship last he's probably trying, or something he does always ticks them off. Those with financial difficulties can whine all they want basta not blame anybody (like you) for it. The one with 3 wives, same with the bonafide cheater. The one who grew up with his lola - that is undeniably understandable, but he should still learn to cope with his ways and probably change it. Unfortunately those are in-grown so when people grow up with a thorn on their side, usually they grow up with a scar and that can never be removed.

[[r]ichkri3g]

*silver streak

the good thing about this is i found out who were really loyal to me.

*moe

that's what pisses me off, why bring it all out on me? co'z i live a better life than them? like for example, one of them portrays me as a ''special child'' since he knows i have a healthy relationship with my parents. afaik, his parents are separated and he has a sibling who has been caught several times for selling illegal drugs. nice family backround eh?

*mbeige

they already crossed the line, they tried to destroy my image to my other friends but they failed. it kinda backfired on them since my other friends questioned their motives in spreading negative info about me.

again... almost 90% of them are married, have some sort of financial troubles, and live boring lives where they hardly meet new decent, matured, & professional people.

[mbeige]

*mbeige

they already crossed the line, they tried to destroy my image to my other friends but they failed. it kinda backfired on them since my other friends questioned their motives in spreading negative info about me.

again... almost 90% of them are married, have some sort of financial troubles, and live boring lives where they hardly meet new decent, matured, & professional people.

Consider yourself lucky, and if I were you keep it that way. Get away from them, they'll just ruin your days. Maintaining a healthy relationship with true friends reinforces both sides, in case a third party tries to ruin it - in your case your true friends are indeed, true friends - they did not listen to them. Keep them, and drop those who backstab you and leave them behind. For all you know, they might even drag you down into their own little personal miseries.

Curious - how are you related to these people? At work ba yan? Sa bahay? Relatives?

[[r]ichkri3g]

Consider yourself lucky, and if I were you keep it that way. Get away from them, they'll just ruin your days. Maintaining a healthy relationship with true friends reinforces both sides, in case a third party tries to ruin it - in your case your true friends are indeed, true friends - they did not listen to them. Keep them, and drop those who backstab you and leave them behind. For all you know, they might even drag you down into their own little personal miseries.

thanks... i needed that.

Curious - how are you related to these people? At work ba yan? Sa bahay? Relatives?

online buddies. met them a year and a half ago. my big mistake was treating them as good friends.

[mbeige]

Well if they're online buddies, have you all met personally? Or parating online pa rin? That changes everything - because whatever you say or do online can be misinterpreted by anybody. If you've met them and it's still like that, then I guess those are their true selves. If not, then maybe they're putting up a front possibly as a defensive mechanism (to be somebody else online). It happens.

Worse comes to worst, set them to your ignore list.

I can't blame you for treating them as good friends, I mean if I met somebody I'd like them to treat me as a good friend too. So don't consider it your fault, instead consider it a learning experience. Para ka lang naka-apak ng t*e, watch out next time (sorry for the bad analogy, it's late and I'm supposed to be sleeping hehe)

Good luck...