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  1. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    29,354
    #1
    http://gleez.com/articles/relationsh...***-with-women


    40 Mistakes Men Make While Having *** With Women

    1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

    2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

    3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs.When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

    4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

    5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts?
    Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good.Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.

    6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

    7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them someattention.

    8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

    9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

    10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

    11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there,keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

    12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

    13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY. Stroking her gently through her panties can be very ***y. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

    14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

    15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

    16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

    17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.

    18) GOING TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

    19) GOING TOO HARD. you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

    20) COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

    21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a *** god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has somethi ng to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

    22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask

    23) PERFORMING ORAL *** TOO GENTLY. Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

    24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

    25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral ***, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

    26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

    27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM **** MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

    28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not.
    Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

    29) ATTEMPTING ANAL *** AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

    30) TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

    31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.

    Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

    32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It's as ***y as a belching contest.

    33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a ***ual partner with snapped hamstrings.

    34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

    35) GIVING LOVE BITES. is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

    36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

    37) TALKING DIRTY. makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

    38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

    39) SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too she will turn blue.

    40) THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having *** with you.Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

    Women, You should forward this to all your boyfriends/husbands for uninterrupted PLEASURE !!!

  2. Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    56,673
    #2
    ^Did you take note of the above?

    I don't agree with all the points though...

  3. Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    12,358
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Cathy_for_you View Post
    ^Did you take note of the above?

    I don't agree with all the points though...
    specifically what no.?

  4. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,384
    #4
    alin cathy, yung no. 40?
    Last edited by chua_riwap; March 19th, 2011 at 09:14 PM.

  5. Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    21,667
    #5
    Handout yata to ni GH. Hahahaa.

  6. Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    56,673
    #6
    In theory, I don't mind most of what are listed there. This is when the benefits of having only one *** partner in your lifetime comes in. In terms of performance and preference, in my mind he will always be the best in everything There is no point of comparison kasi. ***ual etiquette would be where the issues come in.

    But these are the top 3 points I agree with:

    17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first. - definitely looks awkward

    20) COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too. - guy is either selfish or has the self control of a teenager

    29) ATTEMPTING ANAL *** AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse. - never gonna happen in my lifetime

  7. Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    2,836
    #7
    Mai-send nga sa mga kaibigan kong sawi.

  8. Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    24,726
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by SiRbossR View Post
    Mai-send nga sa mga kaibigan kong sawi.
    hahaha, nice one!
    Fasten your seatbelt! Or else... Driven To Thrill!

  9. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,384
    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Cathy_for_you View Post
    In theory, I don't mind most of what are listed there. This is when the benefits of having only one *** partner in your lifetime comes in. In terms of performance and preference, in my mind he will always be the best in everything There is no point of comparison kasi. ***ual etiquette would be where the issues come in.

    But these are the top 3 points I agree with:

    17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first. - definitely looks awkward

    20) COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too. - guy is either selfish or has the self control of a teenager

    29) ATTEMPTING ANAL *** AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse. - never gonna happen in my lifetime

    ba't alam mo ito? ikaw, cathy, kunyari ka pa, asussss.............

  10. Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,902
    #10
    The *** authority talaga yung TS!



    Very useful, nice read!

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40 Mistakes Men Make While Having *** With Women