What Do You Do To Overcome Sadness?

[_Cathy_]

if they're dirty, they're dirty.
you should not assume that it rubbed off on you dahil nakilala mo sila.

It did. I feel so dirty I want to gargle and bath myself with bleach. Halong sakit, galit at diri. It's the years of deception and sort of living 2 lives. Guy 1 has a reputation totally opposite from what I found out from Guy 2. I don't think anyone knows, nagkaroon lang ng lapse si Guy 1 kaya Guy 2 found something about him through a person na kilala si Guy 1 pero hindi kilala ni Guy 1.

Ignorance is truly bliss and there is a part of me that wishes that guy 2 never told me OR if he did, it should have been earlier para mas maaga ko nalayuan si Guy 1! I keep asking Guy 2 if he's joking but he denies it. I am not sure I could still be friends with Guy 1 but Guy 2 said I should be more understanding. NO.

I feel like a zombie now. I'm supposed to attend the funeral of SO's yaya but I'm just in and out of sleep. My Mom asked me why I didn't go and I almost burst out in tears.

[_Cathy_]

Another thing I realized, bros before hoes is NOT true. I've experienced that more than once already.

Guy 2 is in the US now and messaged me (madaling araw there) siguro may guilt din siya. He said Guy 1 is his friend pero iba na lang daw lokohin ni Guy 1, not me. That's not just pangloloko that's hard core deception kasi it's like a secret lifestyle or personality. Wow.

[bugsmobile]

So I guess guy 1 is bi & sucked a guy’s d*ck before?

[papi smith]

He was actually Gay 1 pala [emoji23]

[_Cathy_]

I haven't felt this pain in a long time. I need brain bleach. Ang hirap pa wala ako mapagsabihan because my friends and family know him, at least those I am closest to by name. I am still protecting his image. It's also one of the things na hindi ko ma detail sa Tsikot even if I am anonymous here Sobrang hirap, si Guy 2 lang ang makausap ko

[uls]

i remember someone posted... (not exact words)

"i don't believe in bi... once a guy makes patol sa guy he's already gay in my book"

[_Cathy_]

Nagkukulong na lang ako sa room, drowning myself to music that helps me cry.

[_Cathy_]

Why why why One of my closest guy friends just told me he is getting married in January! I've known him almost 2 decades as well. I didn't even know he had a gf! Only two people know the real story about the Guy I dated and he is that one person. I don't know if he felt guilty, because he knows how I affected I was to be "deceived" by a person I dated and known for so long.

I'm losing my constants one by one, those guys that are NOT my BF but always there when I need them, someone to call or go out with. I told him nga did he tell me because I can't be calling him on ungodly hours anymore. He said it's okay with his fiance BUT I don't think so!!! I don't want to disrespect his future wife naman and I know that things will change! It happened several times to me already, once a friend gets married, whether man or woman, it's never the same (and understandable)

I told him why'd he have to confess to this so close to my finding out something about another close friend of mine Pero hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ko or what when he told me I never really liked him and he's a boylet LOL

Naiiyak ako because I'm losing another friend na naman Now I truly understand why people marry or stay in sham marriages because eventually you lose all your friends and family so you need that one constant companion

[_Cathy_]

I suspect that my Aunt (85), eldest sister of my Mom, is having starting dementia. It's weird though because it's not in our family naman. None of my Lolos or Lolas had it and most lived to their 80s/90s. I tried to talk about it with my Mom but she seems to be in denial and walks away or cuts me off when I want to discuss it! (It's the same thing about my wanting to go to a psychiatrist)

I love my Auntie so much but the signs are there. She is supposed to arrive from the US next week, she calls this morning that her passport is EXPIRED. WTF?!?! We panicked because we're all set with arrangements especially since we have to take care of legal/money matters when she arrives. I asked my Mom when is the expiration and it's 2005. I said that's not recent because my Aunt was here in 2017 so if she renewed her passport it's 2005-2015, 2015-2025! I ordered my supplements from Amazon pa naman e paano yan wala na ko iinomin, but that's not important. I am more concerned that my Aunt's memory is getting worse. Pa ulit ulit ako pag kausap ko and she loses things a lot Minsan hindi pa tapos conversation, she will ask me the same question That is not normal because I have another Tita na 90 and even my Lola 95, it's just like talking to any other person.