It has been known for many years that *** was good exercise, but until
now
nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different
***ual
activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud
to
present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................12 Calories
Without her consent............2187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands...................8 Calories
With one hand....................12 Calories
With your teeth.................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................6 Calories
Without an erection............3315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary.......................12 Calories
69 lying down....................78 Calories
69 standing up..................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow.....................216 Calories
Doggy Style.....................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.............2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real............................112 Calories
Fake...........................1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging............................18 Calories
Getting up immediately..........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years.....................36 Calories
30-39 years.....................80 Calories
40-49 years.....................124 Calories
50-59 years....................1972 Calories
60-69 years....................7916 Calories
70 and over....................Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly......................................32 Calories
In a hurry..................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door......5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.....13,521 Calories
Results may vary.