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  1. Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    155
    #71
    i dont mean to be insensitive, but i just wanted to share what i would do if i were in your shoes...

    i consider myself to be a relatively patient man. but what gets my blood boiling very quickly is drama. i'm just allergic to DRAMA! so if you've sincerely apologized to your wife, to the point of groveling and begging, and she still wouldnt give you a chance, then i think it's time to look at the other option. Heck, you're already wet, might as well go swimming!

    i know, i know... the kids. and so many other factors to consider. at the end of the day, it's your life and only you can decide what will ultimately make you happy. but that's it... be happy. if one cant have happiness in life, then what's the point? so go swimming, hombre!

    you made your bed, now go sleep in it. life's a bitch, what can i say?


    "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

  2. Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,985
    #72
    Your wife sounds an awful lot like my aunt. She had the maids take care of everything and she couldn't cook eventually my uncle looked for someone else who showed him affection. In the start we sided with my aunt but the more we saw what she did and later we couldn't blame my uncle. He came back to her but she just went about her old ways so he left again and this time the family sided with him. We eventually met his other woman and my mom who is the sister of my aunt could see why he left her sister. My mom is now friends with the other woman because she treats my uncle very well unlike my aunt. I know you feel at fault but it is not all your doing and eventually your children will understand. Just know if you have passed the point of no return and move on with your life if she will not accept you and go on with your dignity that remains.
    Last edited by redorange; November 7th, 2008 at 02:59 PM.

  3. Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,985
    #73
    double post
    Last edited by redorange; November 7th, 2008 at 02:59 PM.

  4. Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    75
    #74
    twistedmind, I will probably be the only female here who will tell you that I understand why you had an affair, although there really is no valid excuse for what you did.

    There was already something wrong with your marriage even before you started your affair. I donít think that your wife intentionally pushed you to have an affair, dahil walang babae ang may gusto na hiwalay sa asawa, unless battered wife sha. Donít beat yourself up, though, Ďcoz itís not entirely your fault. You said youíre not malambing, but Iím sure you both accepted each otherís idiosyncrasies before you got married. No offense meant, pero sa tingin ko, sobrang tamad yun asawa mo, kasi sa totoo lang, paano sha napapagod kung wala naman sha ginagawa maghapon sa house nyo, since you have maids who take care of the household chores? Tapos pag uwi mo sa inyo, ni hindi ka man lang inaasikaso? And you almost never have ***? Anong klase yun? Maski siguro ako, kung naging lalaki ako, mawawalan ako ng gana kung ganon ang asawa ko! Tapos ngayon, ginagamit pa niya ang mga anak nyo para maghiganti sa yo! And to make matters worse, sumali pa sa gulo ang mga in-laws mo at sinira-siraan ka pa sa mga anak mo.

    Dude, ito tanong ko sa yoódo you still love your wife and want to get back together with her again, in spite of all the imperfections in your relationship (your evil in-laws included)? If your answer is yes, then do everything you can to win her back. Sabi nga nila, time heals all wounds. Patatawarin ka rin nun. It may take years, pero kailangan magtiis at magpasensha ka.

    Pero kung hindi mo na kaya pa bumalik sa isang relationship na parang wala ng love, then itís time you moved on. Mas maganda sana na even if you donít love each other anymore at hindi talaga kayo pwede maging friends, eh sana maging civil man lang kayo sa isaít isa, for your childrenís sake.

    Kung magmamatigas pa rin ang wife at mga in-laws mo at hindi pa rin sila payag na makasama mo ang mga anak mo kahit sandali lang, ipaglaban mo na lang ang mga anak mo sa legal na paraan, kasi may karapatan ka pa rin sa kanila, even though you had an illicit affair with another woman.

    JMHO.

  5. Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,828
    #75
    Quote Originally Posted by redorange View Post
    Your wife sounds an awful lot like my aunt. She had the maids take care of everything and she couldn't cook eventually my uncle looked for someone else who showed him affection. In the start we sided with my aunt but the more we saw what she did and later we couldn't blame my uncle. He came back to her but she just went about her old ways so he left again and this time the family sided with him. We eventually met his other woman and my mom who is the sister of my aunt could see why he left her sister. My mom is now friends with the other woman because she treats my uncle very well unlike my aunt. I know you feel at fault but it is not all your doing and eventually your children will understand. Just know if you have passed the point of no return and move on with your life if she will not accept you and go on with your dignity that remains.
    Sakto! I would have probably done the same if I were in the TS shoe, abay kung ganyan lang naman ugali ng napangasawa mo eh talagang mapahanap ka ng marunong magalaga sayo.

  6. Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,240
    #76
    To TS, if you can talk to your wife. i think both of you should seek marriage counseling. as i see it, both of you have issues.

    it always takes two to tango. your wife did not do her role as a wife for you and you did not do your role as a husband to her.

  7. Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    553
    #77
    * CoDeR

    ika nga...
    ang ama - haligi ng tahanan
    ang ina - iLaw ng tahanan
    ang in-Laws esp. d MIL - is ANAY ng tahanan!!!


    nakuuuu!!!! hehehe.

  8. Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    1,099
    #78
    Quote Originally Posted by skyediver View Post
    twistedmind, I will probably be the only female here who will tell you that I understand why you had an affair, although there really is no valid excuse for what you did.

    There was already something wrong with your marriage even before you started your affair. I donít think that your wife intentionally pushed you to have an affair, dahil walang babae ang may gusto na hiwalay sa asawa, unless battered wife sha. Donít beat yourself up, though, Ďcoz itís not entirely your fault. You said youíre not malambing, but Iím sure you both accepted each otherís idiosyncrasies before you got married. No offense meant, pero sa tingin ko, sobrang tamad yun asawa mo, kasi sa totoo lang, paano sha napapagod kung wala naman sha ginagawa maghapon sa house nyo, since you have maids who take care of the household chores? Tapos pag uwi mo sa inyo, ni hindi ka man lang inaasikaso? And you almost never have ***? Anong klase yun? Maski siguro ako, kung naging lalaki ako, mawawalan ako ng gana kung ganon ang asawa ko! Tapos ngayon, ginagamit pa niya ang mga anak nyo para maghiganti sa yo! And to make matters worse, sumali pa sa gulo ang mga in-laws mo at sinira-siraan ka pa sa mga anak mo.

    Dude, ito tanong ko sa yoódo you still love your wife and want to get back together with her again, in spite of all the imperfections in your relationship (your evil in-laws included)? If your answer is yes, then do everything you can to win her back. Sabi nga nila, time heals all wounds. Patatawarin ka rin nun. It may take years, pero kailangan magtiis at magpasensha ka.

    Pero kung hindi mo na kaya pa bumalik sa isang relationship na parang wala ng love, then itís time you moved on. Mas maganda sana na even if you donít love each other anymore at hindi talaga kayo pwede maging friends, eh sana maging civil man lang kayo sa isaít isa, for your childrenís sake.

    Kung magmamatigas pa rin ang wife at mga in-laws mo at hindi pa rin sila payag na makasama mo ang mga anak mo kahit sandali lang, ipaglaban mo na lang ang mga anak mo sa legal na paraan, kasi may karapatan ka pa rin sa kanila, even though you had an illicit affair with another woman.

    JMHO.

    eto ang sinasabi ko bilog ang mundo, ang buhay ay parang gulong, when a door closes another one opens. it seems that a member of the opposite *** took sympathy to you

    pero talaga bro, ikaw ang gumagawa ng gawain pambahay?

  9. Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    1,099
    #79
    Quote Originally Posted by redorange View Post
    Your wife sounds an awful lot like my aunt. She had the maids take care of everything and she couldn't cook eventually my uncle looked for someone else who showed him affection. In the start we sided with my aunt but the more we saw what she did and later we couldn't blame my uncle. He came back to her but she just went about her old ways so he left again and this time the family sided with him. We eventually met his other woman and my mom who is the sister of my aunt could see why he left her sister. My mom is now friends with the other woman because she treats my uncle very well unlike my aunt. I know you feel at fault but it is not all your doing and eventually your children will understand. Just know if you have passed the point of no return and move on with your life if she will not accept you and go on with your dignity that remains.
    wala naman masama if one fell out of love, basta before falling in love with another, just make sure na tapos na muna yun isa bago simulan yun isa.

  10. Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    3,938
    #80
    Quote Originally Posted by Gen. Miting View Post
    wala naman masama if one fell out of love, basta before falling in love with another, just make sure na tapos na muna yun isa bago simulan yun isa.
    I agree 100%!

    Quote Originally Posted by mavsn View Post
    * CoDeR

    ika nga...
    ang ama - haligi ng tahanan
    ang ina - iLaw ng tahanan
    ang in-Laws esp. d MIL - is ANAY ng tahanan!!!


    nakuuuu!!!! hehehe.
    Thank God hindi ganyan ang mga in-laws ko sa akin, at hindi rin ganyan ang mga parents ko sa asawa ko.

    I thank my lucky stars...
    Last edited by woohoo; November 9th, 2008 at 01:35 PM.

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My wife found out about my affair