My wife found out about my affair

[Gen. Miting]

the in-laws have legitimate concerns, I think. they are rich and only they want the best for their daughter and grandsons.

kahit bali-baligtadin pa natin ang mga langit at lupa soap opera sa ABS-CBN, nothing can convince them otherwise.

actually madali naman kalabanin ang biyenan kung from the start eh ganito na trato sa'yo. just make your family #1 in your life especially, the wife.


pero kung mas mahirap ka na nga sa in-laws mo at wala ka pang lambing sa inagaw mo sa kanila, well, i can say bro ... YOU HAD IT COMING ...

dad ko binuntal ng lolo ko after nagtanan sila ng mom ko at nagpakasal sa huwes. dad ko laki sa hirap so after binuntal sya, nakitira pa sila sa lolo't lola ko. but my dad never lost the dream that one day, maiaalis nya kami lahat dun sa feeling elitista pamilyang yun. and he did at hindi nya kami pinabayaan when the going got so tough. now, I have no love lost from my grandparents kung i-compare ko ang sinapit ng mga pinsan ko na lumaki sa poder nila.

kaya lang ang ginawa mo nambabae ka pa. face it bro. you're weak and your weakness brought all of this to you. so what will you do next now that the reality has set in? ang buhay naman parang gulong, there's no such thing as irrepairable. so it's up to you na talaga.

[redorange]

We are both chinese, they belong to the upper class and ako simpleng mamamayan lang. From the start ayaw na sa akin ng in laws ko, actually the whole family na ikasal kami. They did not say any reason why, pero somehow it's self explanatory diba. So that maybe part of the reason why they are now doing everything para hindi na kami magkabalikan ng wife ko using my affair as their leverage.

Galit din sila kasi they said I don't earn enough for my family and nagaffair pa ako ang binahay ko pa. They thought I was the one paying for the girl's apartment. And as i've said in my first post, hindi ko agad natigilan ang communication with the girl after ako nahuli kasi nag tetext pa din ako. So those are the reasons why sobra sila galit sa akin.

Honestly hindi ko tinitipid pamilya ko para may mabigay ako sa girl kasi hindi naman sya magastos and hindi din ako nagbabayad ng rent nya. Ang setup kasi namin ng wife ko sya expenses sa yaya and grocery( which is very minimal ) kasi we seldom eat at home. Wife ko lunchout everyday, my eldest sa school canteen, sundays naman we always eat out after mamasyal sa mall. Ako naman sa monthly bills, utilities ng condo, elec. etc.. and tuition and other expenses sa school. Gusto ng inlaws ko ako lahat dpat nagbabayad ng expenses for the family. So those are the reasons why sobra sila galit now and using the kids against me.

Wow your both Chinese and you are still getting the bad treatment. I've been there and my GF and I were engaged but the family didn't like me because I wasn't pure Chinese so I know what you went through. Eventually we ended up breaking up and I'm glad I got out before the same thing happened to me.

If your wife really won't get back with you maybe both of you can just make a compromise with the kids. Tell her you will support the children and all you ask is sometime with them on weekends. But give her and her family sometime to cool down and don't push the issue too much. If they continue to threaten you with taking the kids out of the country contact a lawyer so he can get a hold departure order to prevent such action. But most of all pray that you will eventually be forgiven and move on with your life.

[XTO]

do you still love your wife? If yes do something that could bring back the trust. Say sorry, and fulfill your promise. Then let’s see kung papayag pa siya – doon mo sya masusukat. Nagkasala ko kaya walang masamang “bumaba” for the sake of your kids na sinabi mong mahal na mahal mo.

if it doesn’t push, don’t ever forget your responsibilities to your children, iba yung bigay galing sa ‘yo kahit sapawan ka ng in-laws mo. di ka nila malilimutan kahit anong brainwash ang gawin, malalaki na rin naman sila unlike kung mga wala pang isip yan like mga babies pa.

regarding sa in-laws mo, kalimutan mo muna sila, pampagulo lang yan, but once you won again your family tsaka mo sila balikan. mga pakialamero at sulsol.

[twistedmind]

Ok naman kami ng wife ko except for the being malambing part. From the start of our marriage kasi ganun na kami not so malambing and sweet. both kami guilty sa part na puro kids lang naka focus ang attention. After our first baby, we don't sleep side by side anymore. Our baby sleeps at the middle, then when our second baby same sya naman ang sa gitna namin until now. We let it be that way nasanay nalang, when we go out sa mall my 2 boys are with me playing while sya naman window shopping.

Ang problem ako ang hindi nakatiis kaya when I met this girl accidentally, hindi na ako nakaiwas. But its not only about making love part. Sa house kasi ako ang gumagawa ng gawain ng housewife, so siguro add all the things together and may makilala ka na sweet and maasikaso sayo hindi na nga ako nakaiwas, but I know no reason will justify my having an affair.

[shadow]

what's with you guys? now and may kasalana is yun in laws? kung sa daughter niyo mangyari yan na nagkaroon ng kabit yun asawa niya, siguro mas grabe pa dyan ang gagawin ninyo...geez

the fact na pumayag silang pakasalan mo ang anak nila kahit na ayaw nila saiyo eh that means tinaggap ka na rin nila, now ikaw ang gumawa ng kasalan so don;t blame your wife or your in laws.

remember kung ayaw nila talaga saiyo kahit anong gawin mo hinde sila papayag na pakasalan mo ang anak nila...

what's wrong kung pakialaman ng MIL niya yun asawa ng TS, anak niya yun eh..you can't blame her.

[XTO]

One time my 9yr old told me they happen to pass by my shop and he told her lola can she go down wo see me, sabi daw ng lola cge gusto mo sumama ka na sa daddy mo walang kwenta, baboy yan.

"Daddy, gulo ako, ayaw ko pasok kasi gulo gulo, sabi mommy and ama ( lola ) wag daw kita usap kundi iwan ako bahay, d sasama sa pasyal... paano ako? Sabi pa mommy dadalin kami sa states, dun na kami sleep everynight, paano hindi na kita makikita."

i'm not favoring the TS, may kasalanan siya at siya nag-umpisa nitong gusot na 'to.. but look what the mother in law did? gawain ba ng matinong byenan yan? pwede siyang gumitna lang, or sulsulan nya yung anak nya but never pati isip ng kids. kung talagang ayaw ng wife pwedeng pwede isara wag na makialam ang MIL. pansinin nyo yung MIL lang at di kasama FIL.

- dami nang ganyan in the end nabwisit mismo yung anak nung na-realize.

the best way is usap sila mag asawa, if it doesn't work sorry sorry but never never neglect your kids, in the end makikilala ka nila. sure yan.

[CoDer]

Ikaw ang gumagawa ng gawain pambahay? Inlaws na instead mamagitan eh dadag gulo lang.

Malaki nga ang problema mo paps...

[twistedmind]

the fact na pumayag silang pakasalan mo ang anak nila kahit na ayaw nila saiyo eh that means tinaggap ka na rin nila, now ikaw ang gumawa ng kasalan so don;t blame your wife or your in laws.

I'm not blaming my wife or my in-laws or anyone else for what's happening, as i've said it's my mistake, no reason can justify my having an affair. What makes me sad is gusto nila kalimutan ako and totally hindi na kami magkita ng 2 boys ko.

[mayhem]

lay low for a while... don't overdo things gaya ng daily na ginagawa mong pagpasyal sa school ng mga bata... wag maging stalker type sa mga anak mo.. mejo pa-miss ka sandali make the visit twice a week, then make it once a week na lang.. but when the kids request your presence more often that's the time you bring back the visit schedule.

you're definitely was asking for trouble when you had the affair, mind you and to all guys also, magbisyo lang kung me extra meaning you should provide all to your family first as in all... the end doensn't justify the means... mejo nga mabubuwisit din ako kung ako yung byenan mo bro kasi you're not providing all hence me gana ka pang mambabae kahit na sabihin mong di mo sya binahay eh.. sa kahit anung bisyo, gagastos ka pa din bro.

kasi from your set up with your wifey, she shares the financial responsibility wherein from the general point of view, yung padre de pamilya eh kanya lahat ng financial responsibility, the wife just shares it from budgeting issues and house work kung non-working yung wifey.. and kahit working yung wife, savings nya eh savings nya.. ego ba bro, mahihiya din akong pakialaman yung savings ng wife ko or obligahin kong makishare sya sa expenses.

Move on for now... accept the consequences of your actions, you should've considered it in the first place bro.. as i've said i'm no saint...

it's hard to earn their trust and respect but give your best shot, otherwise if push comes to shove... MOVE ON...

[shadow]

What makes me sad is gusto nila kalimutan ako and totally hindi na kami magkita ng 2 boys ko.

it's a natural reaction from your wife and MIL, if I'm your in laws ganun din gagawin ko, I would even say to your face na "naisip mo ba mga anak mo habang nag *** kayo ng kabit mo?" or "naisip mo ba mga anak mo bago ka kumuha ng kabit?" etc..

now that nilalayo saiyo mga kids mo nalulungkot ka, eh bakit hinde mo naisip yan na pwedeng mawala ang mga kids mo saiyo before you plunge into that affair...

accept the consequences of your action, bakit tingin mo ba pag nahuli kang meron affair saiyo pa rin custody ng mga anak mo? siyempre hinde! sino naman wife ang papayag niyan.

either tiisin mo or file for an annulement and visitation rights.

so stop acting surprised na bakit ganun ginagawa ng MIL mo, eh niloko mo anak nila eh.

kahit ano pang coldness pianpakita ng asawa mo, eh di sana before you get into that affair hinde na lang asawa mo inisip mo but your kids diba...