My wife found out about my affair

[CoDer]

Sira ulo pala yang pamilya ng napangasawa mo pre ah, instead mamagitan eh lalong pinalala ang sitwasyon pati bata bina blackmail pa.

[sequoia]

Dapat, hindi mo agad pinahalata na weakness mo ay ang mga bata. Nalaman nila tuloy kung saan ka masasaktan at gagantihan. Reverse psychology ang gawin mo. Pag kausap mo kids ipa feel mo ang love mo, yung hindi nakaharap at nakikita ng in-laws at ex-wife.

But pag kausap mo naman in-laws or ex-wife mo kunwari you dont care anymore sa mga kids. Medyo mahirap nga lang at this time kasi nalaman nila soft spot mo.

I advised that to a friend na same sa situation mo. Now sa kanya lagi na iniiwan ang bata. kunwari ni-reresent nya ang pagiging yaya kasi hindi sya maka pag goodtime. Kaya mo yan, take your time.

Wag mo nang balikan yung wife mo, tama yung analysis nung mga nauna. She doesn't love you.

[flakez]

hindi kaya simula pa lang ayaw na sayo ng mga in-laws mo? kaya nung nakakita ng chance todo pakialam kagad sila.

[c_cube]

oo nga parang ang laki ng galit ng in laws mo.

filipino ka ba sir tas yun napangasawa mo chinese? culture is a big factor kasi sa marriage eh.

[twistedmind]

We are both chinese, they belong to the upper class and ako simpleng mamamayan lang. From the start ayaw na sa akin ng in laws ko, actually the whole family na ikasal kami. They did not say any reason why, pero somehow it's self explanatory diba. So that maybe part of the reason why they are now doing everything para hindi na kami magkabalikan ng wife ko using my affair as their leverage.

Galit din sila kasi they said I don't earn enough for my family and nagaffair pa ako ang binahay ko pa. They thought I was the one paying for the girl's apartment. And as i've said in my first post, hindi ko agad natigilan ang communication with the girl after ako nahuli kasi nag tetext pa din ako. So those are the reasons why sobra sila galit sa akin.

Honestly hindi ko tinitipid pamilya ko para may mabigay ako sa girl kasi hindi naman sya magastos and hindi din ako nagbabayad ng rent nya. Ang setup kasi namin ng wife ko sya expenses sa yaya and grocery( which is very minimal ) kasi we seldom eat at home. Wife ko lunchout everyday, my eldest sa school canteen, sundays naman we always eat out after mamasyal sa mall. Ako naman sa monthly bills, utilities ng condo, elec. etc.. and tuition and other expenses sa school. Gusto ng inlaws ko ako lahat dpat nagbabayad ng expenses for the family. So those are the reasons why sobra sila galit now and using the kids against me.

[twistedmind]

as far as i'm concerned you should now consider contacting your lawyer for your legal options otherwise it'll be albeit unwise having second thoughts on doing so..

boys will be boys, your sons are already aware of you being their father and soon as they grow they will seek your presence amidst those brainwashing immature inlaws of yours.

as long as you show both of your sons that you're worthy and instill to both of them the situation.

be a proud father, stand for what is rightfully yours... don't lose hope..

goodluck bro... all the best!

This is one of my problems. My eldest knows about the problem, he knows I have an affair and sinabi sa kanya pinagpalit ko sila sa girlfriend ko and hindi ko sila love pati mommy nila kaya may hatred din sya sa akin. Tapos sinabayan pa ng braiwash and pagbigay ng lahat ng gusto nya toys, pasyal while telling him, gusto mo ba sumama sa daddy mo, kaya ba nya bigay yan sayo mga binibigay ko.

I don't know how to explain to him everytime he questions me about my affair.

[Picard]

Sir dun sa 4 years very cold and wife mo sayo, have you ever tried finding out why?

[twistedmind]

Sir dun sa 4 years very cold and wife mo sayo, have you ever tried finding out why?

yup, she said hindi kasi ako malambing and sweet. Eversince i'm not the malambing type kasi and maybe after having 2 kids naging contented na din kami devoting much of our time with the kids. Actually the last 4 years lang sya naging cold in terms of having *** pero yung mga wifey things and duties sa house dati pa maid na lahat bahala even the food that will be cooked maid na nag dedecide.

[Picard]

yup, she said hindi kasi ako malambing and sweet. Eversince i'm not the malambing type kasi and maybe after having 2 kids naging contented na din kami devoting much of our time with the kids. Actually the last 4 years lang sya naging cold in terms of having *** pero yung mga wifey things and duties sa house dati pa maid na lahat bahala even the food that will be cooked maid na nag dedecide.

I don't mean to put prejudice but maybe partly may pagkakamali ka rin kung bakit ganun na lang pala kalamig sayo si misis for the past years. Consumation of marriage is not just plain ol' *** IMHO. It's also about the usual things you did before your marriage like lambingan, konting ligaw ligaw, "sweet-sweetan" sabi nga nila, and dating (date). Kahit may kids na I think every married couple should still have exclusive time for themselves as a couple (aside from ***).

[Burai]

I don't know how to explain to him everytime he questions me about my affair.

to kids:
I have no girlfriend, she's only a friend who comforts me when I was looking/longing for your mother's love for years which started 4 years ago upto present nung lumamig na pakikitungo niya sakin.. hope you understand. i love you all and i want you all back..

to wife:
hindi ba talaga love dahilan kung bakit mo ko pinakasalan?

Burai ---> :shutup:
pasensiya na sa mga tinayp ko, yan naisip ko bigla na sagot sa tanong mo eh.
What the.. parang pinapalabas nilang pera habol nila para sa suitable husband ng daughter nila a?
i think nasagot naman tanong ko. my next question naman would be: kung naging malambing/sweet ka nga sa kanya dati, di ka ba niya iiwan kahit na ba sinisiraan ka pa rin ng todo todo ng in laws mo sir?