Long Distance Relationships

[slamtaz]

It took a lot of faith and trust from both of us, a little over 7 years worth in fact, before she finally joined me here. It took a while. But that's one thing Pinoys (and other Asians) are famous for. Holding on to a relationship no matter the distance is a much admired trait here.

If I had to do it again.......... I would.

*sir jun aka pekto: :2thumbsup: certainly admirable when, among others, a very important factor exist; that is, it should be a two-way free-flowing relationship...

pero panu kung ganito:

nagiging demanding na ata ako, eh. like this morning, uminit ulo ko kasi nde nya ako kinausap, ang reason naman nya is that he was so tired, pwede siya mag-collapse sa pagod daw since daretso siya sa work after getting back from las vegas. he didn't even say na he's leaving the office na, eh buong gabi hanggang madaling araw akong nakatanga sa harap ng pc ko! like jayvee22 said, "Kung ayaw, madaming dahilan. Kung gusto, maraming paraan.". as if it takes a lot of effort even to type a few words, dba? i understand that he's really tired, but i don't get it why he can be that inconsiderate knowing that all i do infront of the pc is stare at it while waiting for him to have some free time to talk to me! this is not the first time na he's like that, maraming pang incidents na he was kind of inconsiderate in other ways eversince we had this fight about my guy friends here in manila.

ma'am dazedchiq, you must be really head over heels right now over this guy kaya mo napapalagpas ang mga ginagawa nya sa iyo despite the apparent absence of genuine reciprocity (i.e. both of you should keep the flame burning in the other person).. though your mind knows full well that what he's doing is unfair,

nakakainis lang. feeling ko he doesn't appreciate my being really patient with him since he's always busy, ung pagpupuyat ko para lang makausap siya, and even ung pagdistansya ko sa mga guy friends ko na ayaw nya. buti na nga lang, nde niya kayo dinamay, eh... but kapag sinama na nya kayo, it's really over. he can't take tsikot away from me. sobra na un!

still your heart seems to be blinded by what you feel towards him and that makes it difficult to let go. should he remain that way, i'm pretty sure the flame in you will eventually burn out..

after all, hindi pa naman kayo di ba? so, try to temper your feelings..

[Jun aka Pekto]

nagiging demanding na ata ako, eh. like this morning, uminit ulo ko kasi nde nya ako kinausap, ang reason naman nya is that he was so tired, pwede siya mag-collapse sa pagod daw since daretso siya sa work after getting back from las vegas. he didn't even say na he's leaving the office na, eh buong gabi hanggang madaling araw akong nakatanga sa harap ng pc ko! like jayvee22 said, "Kung ayaw, madaming dahilan. Kung gusto, maraming paraan.". as if it takes a lot of effort even to type a few words, dba? i understand that he's really tired, but i don't get it why he can be that inconsiderate knowing that all i do infront of the pc is stare at it while waiting for him to have some free time to talk to me! this is not the first time na he's like that, maraming pang incidents na he was kind of inconsiderate in other ways eversince we had this fight about my guy friends here in manila.

nakakainis lang. feeling ko he doesn't appreciate my being really patient with him since he's always busy, ung pagpupuyat ko para lang makausap siya, and even ung pagdistansya ko sa mga guy friends ko na ayaw nya. buti na nga lang, nde niya kayo dinamay, eh... but kapag sinama na nya kayo, it's really over. he can't take tsikot away from me. sobra na un!

We went through the same hard times, especially when my wife's ex tried to get back with her. I didn't place any restrictions on my wife because I trusted her enough she'll do the right thing (and send him packing once more).

You'll have to decide if he's worth it. But before you do, please consider that he may really be tired. As one who lived in Nevada (where Las Vegas and Reno are). The drives from one place to the next are very long and tiring. If your friend drove (I'm assuming from LA) to Las Vegas and then back plus go straight to work, he probably was really tired (I know I would be). Also, life here is mostly work. The potential to earn a lot of money is there. But, we have to work hard at it. Tiredness was also one of my most common excuses when my wife was still in the Philippines.

My wife never understood it until she got here. Now, she's going through the same things although she'll never drive to Las Vegas to visit her "kumare". I'm still the one who have to drive the 6-hour trip.

But all I can say is that right now, you sound just like my wife did. If you're in for the long haul, brace yourself. There'll be more situations on the way. You'll just have to be patient and hang on. If your heart tells you he's really worth it, you will.

[dazedchiq]

update lang... he really did collapse from fatigue yesterday. after he explained what happened, i felt so bad. this is the first time that i lowered my pride and said sorry. i may be falling for this guy, but i'm ready for everthing. i have a cousin who has been in a LDR for about 7 years (and they are still together, plus similar pa kasi both knew each other since high school) and they see each other at least once every year, but they still have the strongest relationship that i'm aware of when it comes to LDRs.

anyway, he just told me that i'll have to trust him the way he trusts me since we're far from each other. i'm just impressed at the way he handles my mood swings because sometimes i can be really demanding since he knows that i grew up being really spoiled that i can be a brat at times. nagugulat din ako sa sarili ko kasi sa kanya lang ako naging willing magbago talaga. i promised him that i'll try to change my being a spoiled brat and i really meant it.

sana lang i'm falling for the right guy. hay nako, sa mga nakakakilala saken dito, alam nila that i have been with the guys that i really don't deserve.

[slamtaz]

sana lang i'm falling for the right guy.

ma'am dazedchiq, we're wishing the same for you... :luvmenot:
for your sake, sana nga he's the right guy


p.s.: ma'am, si kumander ang pumili ng emoticon above, eto kasi ilagay ko sana eh.. :aray::cupid2:

[Imau]

update lang... he really did collapse from fatigue yesterday. after he explained what happened, i felt so bad. this is the first time that i lowered my pride and said sorry. i may be falling for this guy, but i'm ready for everthing. i have a cousin who has been in a LDR for about 7 years (and they are still together, plus similar pa kasi both knew each other since high school) and they see each other at least once every year, but they still have the strongest relationship that i'm aware of when it comes to LDRs.

anyway, he just told me that i'll have to trust him the way he trusts me since we're far from each other. i'm just impressed at the way he handles my mood swings because sometimes i can be really demanding since he knows that i grew up being really spoiled that i can be a brat at times. nagugulat din ako sa sarili ko kasi sa kanya lang ako naging willing magbago talaga. i promised him that i'll try to change my being a spoiled brat and i really meant it.

sana lang i'm falling for the right guy. hay nako, sa mga nakakakilala saken dito, alam nila that i have been with the guys that i really don't deserve.

This is the reason why you are soooo attracted to him. Maybe you are used to guys in your previous relationships being so pussy whipped (read - clingy) and girly man (read- gives in easily in your demands). Since this guy is not always available, you are always wondering what he's doin, if he is doin ok? thus in the process he occupies your mind every minute. You also mentioned that you are always anticipating his calls, and let me tell you ma'am, anticipation raises attraction. to sum it up, you are attracted to this guy because he is different. and I also sometimes believe that "absence makes the heart grow ponder". I do hope that when you are together in the states, he will not turn into a girly man because it will kill your attraction for him.

Disclaimer: please note that in all my posts in this thread I did not mentioned the word LOVE - 'cause I'm not an expert in that. si boss OTEP ang expert sa love"

[Jun aka Pekto]

Dazedchiq

I have to admire couples in long distance relationships not just because I went through it myself. But, it does take a lot of sheer willpower and almost a leap of faith from both to make it work. There's always the 50-50 chance it may not work out. But if you two keep in touch, the odds are much better that it'll work.

You also have to make clear to each other of your intentions so that you have a goal to work towards. Thaaat may take a little bit more time depending on how you two know and feel about each other. In my case, I made it clear to my then penpal/wife-to-be that I'm ready to settle down and it's her that I want. Once that became clear and we both agreed, everything we did was towards getting her here as my wife.

There were still spats about me not calling or writing often enough. But, once we've decided to be lifetime partners, there was a lot less uncertainty which helped both of us immensely. We both knew it was only a matter of time before we're together.

[elterrible]

Lets see if this will work for me... Hayy, Sna pu mag work ito..

[hominid]

My take...

Kung d pa married, mahirap. Deafeat kasi un purpose. U choose a companion to have a companion right here right now and not sumwhere else.

Kung me anak na, mas possible, kasi nagba-bind un anak maski malau na. Unless either party eh hindi mahal ang kanilang mga anak.

[chilli]

hmm ill take it. anyways, it doesn't matter naman whether malapit sya or malayo. if talagang magloloko yan, magloloko yan. so why not give it a try di ba. in this kind of situation, trust and communication ang kailangan to make it work. syempre we have to remember na if ever we will enter into this kind of relationship, it will be at our own risk. we cannot blame somebody if your relationship will not work.

[Jun aka Pekto]

It worked for my parents. It worked for my wife and I. It also worked for 3 of my 5 uncles. The other 2 married Caucasian women. I've seen many Pinoy couples that managed to make a long-distance relationship work. That still doesn't mean it'll work for other people.

One of my wife's friends had her hubby immigrate to the US. He ran off never to be heard from again and left his wife and infant daughter in the Philippines. It's been 14 years and she still holds a torch for him. But, the hubby hasn't shown his face up to now and she's been raising their daughter alone.

If one or the other don't have the guts to make it work, then it won't work. But, that person should at least let the other know instead of just disappearing.